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Elderly parents and sibling who has just moved back home

(11 Posts)
Worriedaboutparents Thu 02-Feb-17 08:29:48

I've name changed for privacy over this as my parents are very private people.

The eldest of my siblings has recently (within the past year) moved back into our parents house, with our parents. The details over the move are a big vague, but it appears that the need for the move back in with our elderly parents is self inflicted. Sibling is single, with no dependants.

The situation with our parents wills is that on the death of the remaining parent their house is to be sold and the proceeds split evenly between the siblings. Obviously the worry now is that the eldest of us is now living in the house and is unlikely to ever be able to afford to move out so will almost certainly still be living there after the death of our last remaining parent.

My poor mum is beside herself worrying about this - they're going to visit their solicitor next month, but in the meantime I'm after some reassurance for my parents that there is a legal way to adjust their wills to ensure that their original wishes are still enforceable.

To be perfectly blunt I would have told my sibling to take a hike, if I'd known about this earlier but the situation has been ongoing for almost a year and I've only just found out about it. We range in age from early 50s to early 40s and our parents are early 80s so it's quite realistic that we could be faced with an unpleasant eviction of our sibling sooner rather than later.

knaffedoff Thu 02-Feb-17 08:37:05

Seriously you would tell your sister to take a hike when needing a place of safety shock

Nice sad

averylongtimeago Thu 02-Feb-17 08:39:41

Your user name should be "worriedaboutmyinheritance"

MrsNuckyThompson Thu 02-Feb-17 08:52:35

I don't think there is an reason for 'your mother' to worry. Of course the will is enforceable as it stands. If and when they die, you'll all still inherit your share and be able to dispose of the house as you decide between you.

Meanwhile might it not be a good thing that your sibling is no doubt picking up quite a bit of caring responsibility??

Worriedaboutparents Thu 02-Feb-17 09:06:28

I'm not worried about my inheritance - I'm furious at my eldest sibling, who through their own fecklessness and lies has made our parents sick with worry and deliberately lied to our parents about everything relating to their need for somewhere to stay.

Mum doesn't want us to have to evict our sibling as she doesn't want us to fall out so wants their to be a legal way to protect their intentions with the house.

As for 'caring responsibilities' there are absolutely none necessary, despite their age our parents are both pretty healthy

MalletsMallets Thu 02-Feb-17 09:16:59

Unless your doing some extreme drip feeding with an unknown back story your being very unreasonable

Your sibling has company, your parents have company. They've got someone who can help with things they may struggle with (everything is online now for example), spot of shopping, if they need driving anywhere. Health can turn at any time and having an extra pair of hands and support is always going to be better. House prices are crazy now, surely this is a win win situation? Especially as the will can be sorted. If you want to be really pedantic about it, make sure any costs your sibling puts into the house is divided by all of you.

MalletsMallets Thu 02-Feb-17 09:20:29

My late wonderful grandmother went from healthy living on her own to us being her full time carers in 9 months, and care home within a year.
There might not be a health need immediately, but you don't know whats around that corner.
My parents are in their mid - late 60's and its something I'm thinking of, even though they are healthy now.

freemanbatch Thu 02-Feb-17 09:28:14

I couldn't care less about my inheritance but it is very likely my parents will find themselves in the same position as the OP's parents in a few years and it worries my mum now that her wish that the house be sold and split between us all might not be carried out because the eldest will be in residence so I can totally see where you're coming from OP.

I have always thought that wills made the rules after death but that it's the enforcement of the will that's sometimes difficult so in many ways I'm just resigned to keeping the peace and letting my siblings do as they please when it comes to it.

Worriedaboutparents Thu 02-Feb-17 09:31:21

I'm trying not to give too much of the back story as it's too identifying (which is also why I don't want to provide any details on the sex of the eldest sibling) but the situation is not good. There have been lots of lies told and what was intended, by our parents, to be a temporary situation has now been revealed to be a permanent situation. My sibling knew all along it would need to be permanent but lied, and continued to lie about the truth of the situation.

I didn't post in Legal Matters for personal attacks, I posted for advice I could pass onto my parents to assure them that what they want to happen can still happen even though their eldest adult child is now living back at home, with absolutely no intention of moving out.

shouldwestayorshouldwego Thu 02-Feb-17 13:10:38

Try contacting @mumblechum1 she drafts wills, it may be that it is possible to put a clause in that the property must be sold which might make it easier to move the sibling out. I can see that often having a child at home can be useful for caring for parents but it doesn't sound as if they have moved in for this reason and the parents would rather not have them there. It is tricky if they can prove that they were dependant on your parents they might have more of a claim so maybe ensuring rent is paid etc would make it less of a dependant child relationship.

mumblechum0 Thu 02-Feb-17 13:18:53

Hi OP, if the will doesn't currently say anything to the contrary then on the second of your parents' deaths, the executors of the will have a duty to sell all assets and, after paying debts etc, distribute the sale proceeds between the named beneficiaries.

The trust clause usually includes the wording..."to sell, retain or postpone sale of....." so if your sibling wishes to buy out you and the other beneficiaries, they can do so, but otherwise they have no choice but to vacate the property.

The only thing I'd suggest is that your parents add a right to reside clause making it clear that the sale of the property can be delayed for a specified period (eg 6 or 12 months) to give your sibling time to find alternative accommodation. By specifying the time period, it should be clear to everyone that your parents' intention was never to delay the sale of the property indefinitely.

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