Just wondering if anyone has any advice for me. My ex and I split up six years ago and to start with we had a really amicable agreement - he has contact every other weekend and takes my DD out for a meal every wednesday. He's got open access and can see her for special events etc, pick her up early if they're going somewhere etc and can ring / Skype whenever he wants. He's recently remarried and has now decided he's in the position to go for 50/50. He lives close enough to take her to school but after 6 years I don't see how it's in DD favour to change the agreement. Since meeting his new partner he's gradually stopped communication with me and DD isn't allowed to contact me whilst she's in his care unless she's with him for a week or more and then she's allowed 1 phone call. I'd be up for mediation but have recently given up work so we would get into serious debt if we did and I can't get legal aid. DD is very worried about this (he told her she's moving in with him) and also doesn't want to be split up from her 2 siblings. He's a lawyer so knows what he's doing. Any advice gratefully received! I just don't want her life turned upside down because he's now finally settled down - he also won't let her continue with the groups and playdates she has on the days he has her. Thanks for any help at all!
The fact he's a lawyer really doesn't mean he knows what he's doing, some of the most deranged family litigants I've come across have been lawyers. Sadly, legal knowledge is no guarantee of good parenting sense. On the contrary!
Sounds to me as if you should stick to your guns. How old is your daughter? And her siblings?
How old is DD? It doesn't sound in her best interests to not be able to call you when she stays there or be able to attend her hobbies etc. He sounds very selfish and is thinking of him and not her needs
Thanks for replying. DD is 7 and her siblings are 7 (my step daughter who is with us about 50 - 60% of the time) and 20 months with another on the way. To be honest, had he decided to do this 6 years ago I wouldn't have liked it but I would have agreed to it but now she has her own life and routines and is extremely close to her siblings. He can see her whenever he wants - up until meeting his now wife he had keys to our house but decided it wasn't appropriate after they got together. I'm completely terrified he's going to change DD's life and it's not going to be for the better. We're meeting up tonight so he can tell me what he wants...