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EP Making life miserable - Can I legally do ANYTHING??? or other suggestions?

(5 Posts)
TiredRed Thu 05-Jan-17 08:50:16

EP will not let the past go. We have a DS who is 3, EP took me to Court for access despite admitting he had no issue with access - he openly admitted he did it as he was on benefits so it was free (represented himself) and simply hoped to cause me distress and financial hardship - he succeeded in both. I now have a live with order (he previously abducted his other child from Aus!) but we have a Court Order for alternate weekend access for our DS. He does not pay for his DS (never has) as he is "un-employed" but regularly changes his collection days as he has been offered work! He was supposed to have DS this Christmas - but last minute said he should stay with me (previously admitted he only wanted him to "destroy me") and at New Year DS went there but was so distraught at going I had to go and collect him 4 hours later as he doesnt want to be there. Asked EP for his input as to DS's current distress at going to EP's Home - abusive emails in return - personal attack - harking back to past (ALWAYS). He has no real interest in DS's welfare and only in hurting me/destroying my happiness. Massive user of Weed magnificently failed a drugs test (overlooked by the Court as was not Class A drugs!) - paranoid, bitter and vengeful. WHAT CAN I DO!!! Can I legally do anything - i mean he actually hasnt done anything massive but i cant face a lifetime of the emotional abuse, lies, vengence and knowing my son is unhappy in his company and being able to do nothing about it?????

MrsBertBibby Thu 05-Jan-17 09:03:39

How long ago was this order made?

TiredRed Thu 05-Jan-17 09:11:08

Only April Last year sad

MrsBertBibby Thu 05-Jan-17 16:37:06

That's a tough one, it's always tricky going back to court, especially inside a year. You can apply to the court to vary the arrangements, but it's easy to get labelled as a disgruntled mum, and get your concerns ignored. Until your son is old enough to make his voice heard, and be believed, it's even harder.

Do start to keep records. Buy a diary and write stuff in it. Keep more detailed notes. Every cancellation, every upset for your son. Hold on to the abusive emails, and never ever respond in kind.

If he carries on, your son will vote with his feet, but that takes time. I expect yourcex will have a newer ex to screw up soon enough, and get bored of you and your son.

Be boring. Make sure there's no payoff for him in terms of your upset. Be unmoved, always. Then take it out on the cushions.

TiredRed Thu 05-Jan-17 17:13:18

Thank you! I have made it through 3.5 years without ever responding to the insults, lies and allegations or getting pulled into the obvious goads for an argument. I just assumed it would have worked by now! He lives to smoke weed, he has not one friend, his family do not speak to him because of his actions towards us and his life choices and he only leaves the house to illegally work to get money for more weed! Unfortunately that leaves me as his only focus in life...and definitely not in a good way! sad

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