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Urgent help - ex refusing to return dd

(21 Posts)
newnamname Mon 02-Jan-17 06:07:20

DD has been with ex for a week and is now refusing to return her. The police have said I need to go back to court. What do I need to do to have this looked at urgently? She is 6.

marcopront Mon 02-Jan-17 06:17:48

I saw your other thread. I hope someone can help you here. However I think they would need more details - what does the current residency order state?

newnamname Mon 02-Jan-17 06:56:28

The order states that she lives with me and that she has regular agreed contact with her father which has been happening

Sixisthemagicnumber Mon 02-Jan-17 06:59:59

If the court order says that dd lives with you then the police should be able to intervene. If there was no court order then the police would not be able to do anything if you both have parental responsibility but the court order is key as the police are there to help enforce the court decisions.

newnamname Mon 02-Jan-17 07:10:10

Yesterday the police told me I had to go back to court as they weren't able to do anything?

Sixisthemagicnumber Mon 02-Jan-17 08:48:55

I don't think that is true and the police probably just couldn't be bothered. When a male friend of mine refused to return his son after court agreed access his ex phones the police and he was made to return his son. The police told him that he was effectively kidnapping his child and was liable to be arrested if he refused to abide by the court order. Either the police in his case were lying to quickly resolve the situation or the police are lying in your case because they can't be bothered. I think you should go and seek some independent legal advice.

newnamname Mon 02-Jan-17 08:51:20

I get that they wouldn't want to wake her up and put her in a police car to drive her 5 hours. That would be very traumatic for her.

Sixisthemagicnumber Mon 02-Jan-17 08:52:51

There is some info on here. It specifically says that the police can intervene if there is a court order already in place.

pklme Mon 02-Jan-17 08:54:24

Commenting to express support and bump the thread.

throwingpebbles Mon 02-Jan-17 08:54:33

Oh she is 5 hours away?
My ex did this to me, huge sympathies! I told him if he didn't set off to return mine I would head to his parents to pick them up. Would that be an option? Could a friend come with you?
Alternatively I think some family law firms have emergency lines for things like this? Presumably she has school starting tomorrow or Wednesday?
So sorry you are going through this. Not got much advice but am here for hand holding

Sixisthemagicnumber Mon 02-Jan-17 08:55:26

Whilst they wouldn't want to wake her and drive her 5 hours they should have warned him that if he doesn't return the next morning they will intervene and arrest him if necessary.

throwingpebbles Mon 02-Jan-17 08:55:53

Agree police pick up and car would be traumatic. But maybe they could just be there with you to assist in pick up? Or they could pop and have a word with your ex and try to get him to see sense?

kittybiscuits Mon 02-Jan-17 09:01:17

It seems a very poor response from the police given that you have the court order. I would not collect DD myself. He has committed an offence and there should be a formal log of this.

newnamname Mon 02-Jan-17 09:01:26

That link is really helpful thank you.

MrsBertBibby Mon 02-Jan-17 09:36:14

No it isn't the police's job to get her.

You need an order under Family Law Act 1986 for the police to assist in retrieving her.

Link to form C3

MrsBertBibby Mon 02-Jan-17 09:47:28

Time is of the essence. Complete the form and print out x3 copies. It is addressed to the police for the area where she is now. Write a statement in support explaining all that happened, inc. your efforts to get her back. Print off any text or emails. Say if you've been allowed to talk to her. Contact her school to explain the position and tell them you don't agree to her changing school and can they tell you if he asks.

Get the forms and 3 sets of the statement to the court tomorrow morning, (find your nearest court and make sure online it does family court work. Issue at the counter and ask for an immediate ("ex parte") hearing. You may have a wait, the courts will be processing the usual mountain of post festive injunctions. But get in there, don't be put off.

If you can afford it, get a family solicitor. Roughly, where are you.

kittybiscuits Mon 02-Jan-17 09:58:05

Bert you are a legend smileflowers

MrsBertBibby Mon 02-Jan-17 09:59:48

Whilst you are at it, apply (C100) for the current contact order to be suspended pending reconsideration by the court, in view of his disgraceful conduct.

If you're doing that, might as well seek a Prohibited Steps order preventing him from changing her school, given the distance he lives at. And a Prohibited Steps Order forbidding him to remove her from your care, or retain her after contact. Ask for a penal notice to be attached to that. Ups the stakes if he plays the twat again.

newnamname Mon 02-Jan-17 10:03:40

Thanks, I've filled that form in ready to go. I have a telephone appointment with a solicitor today so hopefully will be able to get things moving tomorrow.

MrsBertBibby Mon 02-Jan-17 10:14:01

Do the statement too. And on 2nd thoughts, 4 or 5 sets, not 3.

GlitterGlue Mon 02-Jan-17 10:20:38

You can find your local family court here.

I would ring today as they may have an answer phone message giving info about getting an appointment in case they don't accept walk ins.

I don't know if a court fee applies, but if it does and you are on a low income you can apply for a fee remission.

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