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Moving back to holland with my child, but father is British

(23 Posts)
ginasmith Thu 15-Dec-16 14:33:04

I have been in the UK for 14 years and married British national, currently 7 months pregnant but thinking of moving back to holland (as I'm Dutch) after divorce. How will this work legally with parental responsibility? What if he disapproves? Has anyone experienced this before or know of anyone who had to take this up legally? Please advise

Ellisandra Thu 15-Dec-16 15:14:28

If my ex was trying to take my child to live in another country from birth, I would go to a solicitor and start the ball rolling for a Prohibited Steps Order to stop them.
I would also be seeking 50/50 child care. (albeit delaying implementation for at least 6 months whilst my child was very young and possibly breastfeeding - then I would delay the overnights)

What has happened in your marriage that you think it is in your child's best interests not to have a full relationship with both parents?

babymouse Thu 15-Dec-16 15:25:19

You won't be able to move without his consent:

ginasmith Thu 15-Dec-16 15:31:24

Let's say he consents to me moving. How would it work with visitations? Am I responsible for bringing the child over or would he have to come over? I suppose it's similar situation to moving away from London to Manchester, I am just concerned about the arrangements and what the legalities are.

TimTamTerrier Thu 15-Dec-16 15:34:20

If you really want to live there with your child then it would be better if you could be resident there when you give birth. Unless you know for sure that he won't want to stop you from moving.

TimTamTerrier Thu 15-Dec-16 15:36:32

Sorry, I took a break in the middle of writing my last post so it crossed with your last post.

EvenTheWind Thu 15-Dec-16 15:36:38

Agree with timtam

Sparlklesilverglitter Thu 15-Dec-16 15:39:39

How do you and him get along? How do you plan for him to have contact with his child when you move?

Have you actually spoke to him about wanting to move to another country with his baby?

EatTheCake Thu 15-Dec-16 15:41:47

Are you and him amicable? Can you sit and talk it over with each other?

You are both parents to this baby and the babies needs to come first. You need to work out together what is best, Is living in a different country to 1 parent best?
How do you plan for that to work in an ideal world?

ginasmith Thu 15-Dec-16 15:46:38

We are on bad terms, however I do not intend to stop him from having contact with his child. In fact I think it important. He lives in a flatshare and therefore the child staying with him isn't a option. In a ideal world we would come over in holidays or he could come see the baby. We have already agreed that the baby will live with me full time.

easterlywinds Thu 15-Dec-16 15:53:37

I'm not sure if you're aware of it, but you need to look at The Hague convention for the legalities of moving out of the country with a baby/child.

SolomanDaisy Thu 15-Dec-16 16:25:18

You need to go before the baby is born so you can establish NL as the child's habitual residence to avoid problems with the Hague convention.

prh47bridge Thu 15-Dec-16 17:29:24

How would it work with visitations?

There is no one size fits all answer. Ideally you will agree the arrangements with the father and come up with something that works for both of you.

Ellisandra Thu 15-Dec-16 20:21:40

Don't kid yourself that it's the same as London to Manchester hmm
Unless that London right beside LHR and you're going to move right beside AMS, and you live in cloud cuckoo land where flights are never delayed and the cost of them will never be an issue.

You may have good reasons to being your child up in s different country to their father. But don't try to pretend to yourself that it's like two cities in one country.

I speak as someone who does a weekly flight commute.

Northernlurker Thu 15-Dec-16 20:24:48

You need to go now. It will save a lot of heartache.

IJustWantABrew Thu 15-Dec-16 20:27:27

If you don't put him on the birth certificate he legally has no right over the child. It's a shitty thing to do but would mean you can go back to holland and he can't do an thing to stop you.

prh47bridge Thu 15-Dec-16 21:27:53

If you don't put him on the birth certificate he legally has no right over the child

Rubbish. They will be married at the time of birth so under UK law he will have parental responsibility. She will therefore need his consent to take their child out of the country.

PoldarksBreeches Thu 15-Dec-16 21:30:04

You'd have to leave before the birth. He can't stop you leaving when you're pregnant but he can stop you taking a baby.

needsahalo Sat 17-Dec-16 10:56:01

Go now, particularly if things are difficult.

You will - morally at least - need to take responsibility for maintaining the relationship between father and child.

What is your support network like here in the U.K.? Do you just feel the need to be near your mum?

Alorsmum Sat 17-Dec-16 13:19:36

Go before the baby is born. Don't go just to give birth. Stay there and make Holland the baby's habitual residences. He can't stop you.
He could make it very difficult once the baby is born and you could be refused consent.

Ellisandra Sat 17-Dec-16 13:30:35

But maybe take 5 minutes before taking this get out now advice to consider whether it is in the best interests of your child? hmm

Fourormore Sat 17-Dec-16 13:36:12

I know this is the legal board but how very very sad.
I also wonder how leaving the EU will complicate matters for the child having a relationship with her father.

babybarrister Sun 18-Dec-16 13:41:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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