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XH, financial agreement and dc2 sixth form boarding issue.

(8 Posts)
mineofuselessinformation Sun 11-Dec-16 20:26:43

Any family lawyers around please?
I need some advice.
(If you've come on this thread to state your opinion, please don't - that's not what this thread is about.)
Dc2 is at boarding school, in yr11. XH pays boarding fees as part of our financial agreement which was court-ordered.
I've just discovered he has not made an application - he had the forms to do so, the deadline passed a month ago.
What do I do?
There are two issues:
I negotiated the settlement so that both of our dcs had the same educational chances. (In essence, I took a smaller 'financial cut' to facilitate this.)
Dc2 is disabled, and IMO also in the autistic spectrum. I don't believe it is in their educational or emotional interests to basically force a move to her fathers and start at a new school in a new county. They are happy and settled at school with a wide circle of friends.
There is much much more I could add, but this will do as a starter.
Any advice at all would be gratefully received.

quicklydecides Sun 11-Dec-16 20:28:39

Ask the school to continue to allow her to attend while you go to court?

titchy Sun 11-Dec-16 20:35:34

Grovel to the school and apologise profusely for the delayed application which you do NOW.

Is there any reason you didn't apply earlier? The court presumably only ordered him to pay, not actually complete and post an application form so I'm not sure you can blame him for this.

mineofuselessinformation Sun 11-Dec-16 20:49:40

I can't complete the forms as that would then make me responsible for the fees - but I will speak to the school and ask how I can sort this out.
I think I also need to see a family solicitor?

titchy Sun 11-Dec-16 20:58:33

Can't you complete them and attach a copy of the court order though. Right now getting her place confirmed is priority.

mineofuselessinformation Sun 11-Dec-16 21:49:47

I am going to speak to the school (and be very frank) tomorrow.
Have texted XH and he has confirmed he did not apply for a boarding place . It's not possible to have a civilised conversation with him and he is claiming innocence - and asking will I not support her being a day pupil or day boarder (when did we even have that conversation?).
That's all very well, but I have to be at work at 8am, and occasionally have to stay very late, so it's not always practical to take and collect dc2, even though I live nearby. Plus, doing prep (aka homework) is built into the day so there are no arguments, or problems with getting them up on a Saturday morning to go into school (which is a problem sometimes if they come home on a Friday).
He has no idea of what living day to day with a child going to school is like - he hasn't done it for eight years. God knows how that will work, and I can see it all going pear-shaped within the first half term.

Ellisandra Sun 11-Dec-16 23:58:12

I don't understand the leap from him not applying to it meaning she has to move county and settle in a school near him?

Things I would do:
- solicitor call tomorrow, as you're doing
- frank conversation with school - as an established Y11, it would be pretty poor if the school couldn't hold a place for you for a certain period whilst this is confirmed, I think
- in the frank conversation, cover worst case scenario - would they reduce fees for you if you end up having to pay? There are various bursaries available usually and if they're not over subscribed then they may be flexible as you've been there for a long time (I think?) with 2 kids
- if you do have to pay fees at some point, are there any charities related to her disability that you can start to approach?
- consider that he may just be trying it on and need to be shot down. He's claiming innocence about the application and asking about Day boarding - that's not the same as refusing to pay. Any possibility if you text "no, as agreed, she will board. I will post the completed forms to you for signature tomorrow with an SAE to the school - the admissions team need them on Friday" then he will back down - knowing that the order is on your side?

RedHelenB Fri 16-Dec-16 07:41:04

Does she want to still board?

At 16/17 childcare isn't the issue it is when they are younger.

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