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Divorce - Children

(12 Posts)
SanityAssassin Tue 15-Nov-16 11:02:57

My husband has asked to divorce me and wants the kids (he wants to give up his job for this - how the hell he thinks this will work in SE is beyond me)

I have been sole carer for the last 9 years adjusting my work hours etc to cover school/clubs as in I have adjusted my above national average working job to enable DH to earn loads

{pus he can't do a day with them without texting me "what can we do"

I would like (obviously!) to stay in our £750 (£180 outstanding) until kids are 18 - I also have inheritance of £200K coming and II don't want him to get his hands on that - also have personal savings of around £100K so does he.

PotteringAlong Tue 15-Nov-16 11:04:27

I'm not sure what you're asking...

ThomasRichard Tue 15-Nov-16 11:09:50

You need to see abgood solicitor straight away. Don't agree to anything right now.

SanityAssassin Tue 15-Nov-16 11:13:08

sorry my husband wants to tell everyone I am an alcoholic (again) I am just bored of this - I'm not he is a bully and thinks he can control me like this. Mindless conversations every evening - he drinks more than me btw and has never organised a thing for our kids.

ThomasRichard Tue 15-Nov-16 11:23:10

Don't commit to anything, don't send him any messages agreeing to anything. Keeps screenshots and notes of all interactions with him. Call a reputable solicitor today.

Ouriana Tue 15-Nov-16 11:32:54

As the main carer you have a good argument for continueing to be the childrens main carer. If he is accusing you of having a drink problem I would cut out all alcohol for a while just to be on the safe side.

The financial side is more difficult, with your savings and inheritence it may be possible for you to buy him out if his share of the family home, however you need a good solicitor fast.

Do not discuss or agree anything with him.

SanityAssassin Tue 15-Nov-16 11:33:11

thank you - just so worried since I gave up everything (I had a good carear owned own my property before I met him ) to raise out kids (and now he holds this against me!)

SanityAssassin Tue 15-Nov-16 11:40:39

I'm more worried about his false accusations to be honest - he wants to go to a solicitor and just tell them I'm an alcoholic get custody of the kids and waltz of in to the sunset, Can I just counter claim he is? its bonkers.

GreenAndWinter Tue 15-Nov-16 12:32:54

Could you offer to have blood tests / hair strand tests done to prove you're not an alcoholic? Would they come out okay?

My STBX called children's services anonymously, and told them I was an alcoholic with mental health problems. Two social workers turned up unannounced on my doorstep, it was unsettling to say the least. However, they soon realised it was a malicious allegation from an abusive ex, and they didn't take any action (except to make a note on my file in case it happened again).

SanityAssassin Tue 15-Nov-16 17:26:32

green omg that is so the sort of behaviour he would do. He is already trying to market the house behind my back and telling me what I can and can't do and that he is going to give up work and have the children but we might need to move away as can't afford 2 properties here (definitely not if the idiot quits his job)
I'm at a loss and whilst I know some dads do an amazing job I just can't see my husband thriving in single parent mode and just know my son will be plugged in to playstation and my daughter ignored (as happens most weekend days if I don't motivate)

babybarrister Wed 16-Nov-16 19:11:47

you need good advice - have a look at thew Resolution website or post on here indicating more or less where you are

needsahalo Fri 18-Nov-16 18:16:23

Please try not to worry. The courts are full of people making spurious accusations about people they are happy to leave their children with asa general rule. Judges are used to it.

You have been the children's main career for years. It won't go down well in court to deliberately make yourself unemployed to upset your ex.

Is the house jointly owned?

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