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I could really do with some advice...

(2 Posts)
user1478125241 Wed 02-Nov-16 22:34:26

I was in an abusive relationship for many years, never physically but mentally and emotionally. We split up 5 years ago, and being so in love with him, the "friendship" continued. Then I found he had continued to be inappropriate with my older girls and it ended 3 years ago.
In two weeks the court case with the Local authority will have its final hearing. Now this started as he has admitted to the police the sexual abuse he put my children through.

But I am in danger of losing my youngest daughter to care as they think my mental health means I may be danger to her in the future. I do have anxiety and depression but have had these under control in the last 3 years. The main reason I had those in the first place is that I was in an abusive relationship.

I am scared that even though I have done everything they have asked of me and more, I will still lose her.

Dragongirl10 Wed 02-Nov-16 22:51:33

Hi op,

You have had a really rough time, and l am so sorry for you going through it...but now you have got rid of the problem, ie your abusive ex.

Time to pick yourself up, take a good hard look at what is good in your life, your brave..look only to your future. stop thinking about your feelings even if you have to stop yourself a hundred times a day.

Just think about how much you want a good future for your Dcs, and take a small step each day towards that. If you feel crap just accept it and let it go, if you can get through a day being a good parent for your Dcs that is a reason to congratulate yourself. If it is a bad day ...well there's another one tomorrow.

Take each hour one at a time, do not worry about the hour after this one, just plan your hour, do what you have planned, give yourself a pat on the back and do the next hour. Fear is a big part of mental health issues so stop being scared you will lose your D/D and take one small step an hour towards being a good mum.

Breathe deeply and ignore the negative thoughts, when they come get up and do something nice or excercise, eventually they will subside. Only have contact with people who are positive for you, only be in positive places, be selfish when you can and forget pleasing anyone other than your Dcs and yourself.

You can choose your future and your Dcs need you totally, you can be a great mum for them one hour at a time....Good Luck

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