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Cafcass section 7 report/ restraining order

(6 Posts)
Neb78 Sun 23-Oct-16 21:16:10

Hi, just received Cafcass recommendations regarding increasing contact. I have a restraining order against my ex which is in place until next September. Looks like I Will have to agree to using contact centre for future handovers as she says he can have unsupervised contact. However, I am extremely angry and disappointed with her suggestion that I get the restraining order amended or revoked to enable ex to pick up/drop off At my house so he can have overnight contact whilst the order is in place. I've been through 3 years of hell and been victim of emotional abuse and controlling and coercive behaviour, which nobody in the family court seems to take seriously. I wonder if she would have suggested this if I had the restraining order if I'd been hospitalised by my ex? If I was to amend it in some way I'd leave myself wide open for the behaviour to start again and then the police would not take me serious if I needed their help in the future. The suggestion is highly insensitive and I just feel like I'm fighting a losing battle....anyone else had similar family court / Cafcass problems ? X

Collaborate Mon 24-Oct-16 07:51:02

Firstly, a contact centre is unlikely to be appropriate for hangovers due to their usually limited opening times. Check, though ones near me are open for 4 hours on a Sunday and that's all.

Secondly, is there a 3rd party who can manage the handovers?

Thirdly, I'm assuming the injunction says he can't contact you or be within a certain distance of you, but if not, and it only keeps him away from the house, perhaps meeting in a public place under the gaze of cctv might work.

Finally, what did the cafcass officer say about the risk associated with him coming round to the house to collect your child?

traviata Mon 24-Oct-16 08:06:19

Where there is a restraining order in place, sometimes it can work to amend it so that the non-resident parent has to stay in their car while the child walks to and from the front door - obviously it depends on the child's age, the layout and whether it's safe to park and wait there.

Normally CAFCASS are very hot on the need to avoid hostility in front of the child, so I would be surprised if they were making suggestions that could increase the risk. It's usually a balancing act between keeping the parents apart and making things as natural as possible for the child.

Neb78 Mon 24-Oct-16 09:23:04

Thanks for replies. The local contact centre is actually open Saturdays from 10-4 so I guess it could be used. I just feel as though amending it after going through hell to get the restraining order seems wrong and could put me at risk again and I don't feel able to deal with it. My ex used to work for police (until loosing job for gross misconduct) and is a very manipulative man and I don't feel I'd have a leg to stand on if things went wrong. I've put myself into situations I wasn't happy with to enable contact for 3 years and suffered abuse in the process. I'm not prepared to amend it now I have some protection but feel Cafcass are making me look bad for not agreeing to this! It's crazy.

Neb78 Mon 24-Oct-16 10:03:53

Forgot to say our child is 3. I'd personally don't think it's a good example to have the father collect him from house and not say a word to each other but in the past my amicable behaviour has led to harassment and abuse :-(

MummyT12 Mon 07-Nov-16 22:54:14

I've been in the same situation as you. Whilst the restraining order was in place, my ex had to arrange for a 3rd party to collect and drop off.
The restraining order has now expired and the harassment has started again which impacts my child but caffcass don't seem to care and they make me feel like I'm being difficult.
I would say don't agree to anything that you're not comfortable with. They can't make you do anything you don't want to and allowing him to come to your property opens the flood gates again... believe me I know x

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