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social worker advice

(31 Posts)
Helliga Wed 19-Oct-16 21:15:56

Long story short. After an allegation against my husband, almost definitely made by his ex wife, our children are now on a child protection plan. Because my family live a very long way away from us, all over the UK, I have decided not to burden them with the stress we are under as a family. However our allocated social worker has told me today that if I don't tell them, he will do so even against my wishes. My family have no input or involvement in the situation we find ourselves inand we see them so infrequently that it seems unnecessary to involve them. Is he allowed to get their contact info and speak to them behind my back, against my expressed wishes?

Helliga Fri 21-Oct-16 21:38:18


user1476656305 Fri 21-Oct-16 21:43:31

I am sorry but it would take a bit more than a spiteful allegation to get children on a protection plan.
Social workers can do what they like if they consider it to be 'in the best interests of the child'.

user1476656305 Fri 21-Oct-16 21:43:32

I am sorry but it would take a bit more than a spiteful allegation to get children on a protection plan.
Social workers can do what they like if they consider it to be 'in the best interests of the child'.

user1476656305 Fri 21-Oct-16 21:45:32

No idea why that posted twice. sorry to sound a bit harsh - I have also had dealings with SS. Hope you are OK. Have you considered temporary separation?

CotswoldStrife Fri 21-Oct-16 21:51:24

Presumably they want to inform your family because of a risk to them? A child protection plan being in place sounds like more than an allegation to me.

Helliga Fri 21-Oct-16 22:05:50

There is no risk to my family as they live miles away and have no involvement in my life on a day to day basis. Also they are all adults.

We know that part of it has come from the ex cos her name is all over the assessment.

I have considered a seperation more than once since it all started but I am desperately trying to keep normalcy for my children.

And no am not ok at all. My whole life has been turned upside and I have no control over it

FrancesHaHa Fri 21-Oct-16 22:15:50

For there to be a Child Protection Plan the children have to be at 'significant risk of harm' under Section 47 of the Children's Act. This also gives social workers the right to do certain things without your consent if they feel its in the best interests of the children. Usually this would be things like turning up unannounced, speaking to your children, getting information from agencies.

Hard to comment on little info, but they may want to gain info from them or they may want to have a Family Group Conference? To see what support family members could offer now and in the future?

I'd ask the social worker why they need to speak to them, and under what legal basis they are intending to do so without your consent.

CotswoldStrife Fri 21-Oct-16 22:16:29

Have they asked him to leave and you have refused?

Gowgirl Fri 21-Oct-16 22:24:18

Actually a spiteful sw with a target will press on! Mine was later sacked for breech of conduct! I had a full apology from her successor who was very good at her Job!

Shurelyshomemistake Fri 21-Oct-16 22:27:02

You need legal advice and pronti. Family rights group could maybe give pointers. Sounds horribly stressful sad

mumgointhroughtorture Fri 21-Oct-16 22:37:14

If SS are telling you to get rid of your partner for the sake of your kids, thats what you have to do. SS dont mess about and if the kids are on child peotection they are taking this very serious.
I have kids in long term foster care and I can tell you life without your kids will be a lot harder than life without your kids and thats from total experience.
If you want to message me privately I can try and help you but ultimately SS are maybe wanting to involve your family with views to taking the children into care and maybe testing the water for them to go and live with members of your family rather than go into foster care .

How old are your kids?

bambino2014 Tue 08-Nov-16 20:23:31

Sorry just seen this.....are they looking to place your children with family members? That's another reason why family are informed.

DeriArms Wed 09-Nov-16 21:42:21

I'm a social worker OP. It's difficult to answer your question properly without knowing the details of the situation. What I would suggest is that you contact the Independent Reviewing Officer for your children, who is the person who chairs the Child Protection Conferences that will take place (you have the initial conference, then a review conference after three months, and thereafter - until/unless it's decided that there should no longer be a plan in place - at 6-monthly intervals). The IRO's role is to provide independent oversight of the process and they are usually quite experienced social workers (in my local authority anyway - I couldn't comment on where you are as there is some variation between LAs with how they do things). They may be a good person to speak to and can either explain to you why this is felt to be an appropriate step to take, or advise you how to challenge it. If you're not sure who the IRO is you should ring Children's Services and ask - it will be noted in your children's records.

Helliga Wed 09-Nov-16 21:56:51

Apologies for lack of posting but things have been a bit manic. I raised my query to our social worker's team leader only to be informed that both he and his line manager no longer work for the authority and we have been allocated a new social worker whom we will be meeting on Monday. On speaking to her I get the impression that she felt our case has not been effectively so far so she wants to re do our first core group meeting and to all intents and purposes rewrite on Child Protection Plan. I am hoping this is a good thing.

Helliga Wed 09-Nov-16 22:03:30

To previous posters; they don't want to send my children away to live with my family members, the children are living with me and will remain here. They want me to tell my immediate family as they believe I need more emotional/ practical support during this process. They feel I am isolated from the people who should be my shoulder to cry on when I get stressed and anxious about what's going on at home. To be fair they are right in a way but I feel that not telling them unless I absolutely have to (if hubby is guilty of the allegations) is the right decision.

OhTheRoses Wed 09-Nov-16 22:09:26

In your shoes I'd hire a,specialist solicitor. Can you do that? Do you have assets at all? CAB or "Family Lives"

Helliga Wed 09-Nov-16 22:52:33

We have someone on my husband's side of things but she cannot help out with social services side. We do not really have the money for much else as I have been forced to give up my job to be 'sole parent' to the children (ages 6 &3)I have written a formal complaint about their lack of adherence to their own policy and procedure and our SW lack of professionalism but had no response.
My only hope is the new social worker is better than the last two. I am getting fed up of jumping through their hoops and complying to every action they wish us to take without them affording us the simple expectations of following their own policies, timeframes and official guidelines. sad

Ditsyprint40 Wed 09-Nov-16 23:03:48

Have you got any other close friends you could turn to OP? Does sound serious and v stressful. Obviously we don't know the ins and out, but be aware that they may perceive you as trying to turn the focus to SS through complains which screams disguised compliance, and is in turn even more worrying.

Helliga Thu 10-Nov-16 07:37:26

Disguised compliance? I have given up my job, I have attended every meeting, I have followed every instruction, I have rearranged appointments, given up things I usually do because I don't have anyone to have the children!! All I am asking of the professionals in this process is that they do what they are supposed to be doing in a 'professional' and timely manner. It is now 2 months since our child protection conference and we have had no visits, statutory or announced, none of the planned work has been done with myself or the children and nobody ( Us, school or NHS lady - other attendees from initial conference) knows what the hell is going on!! We go to conference review in a couple of weeks and nothing that was supposed to have been done has been done by the social workers!! By what standards is this acceptable?? This is my family and if they truly believe my children are at risk why the hell have they not got off their backsides and done their job!!!! angry

Helliga Thu 10-Nov-16 07:39:12

Unannounced visit that should be

LadyPenelope68 Thu 10-Nov-16 07:49:54

I'm sorry but a child would not be placed on a Child Protection Register just on the basis of allegations made by your husband's ex. Investigations would be carried out and your children would have to be seen to be at risk of significant harm, which they clearly are if they are on the CPR. If there are concerns about your emotional well being then yes, they can contact members of your immediate family. They aren't contacting them to protect them, they are contacting them so that they can offer support to you AND most importantly your children. Failure to agree to this could be seen as hindering the process.

As an ex-social worker your reluctance to inform them plus your adamant that it's allegations only from your husbands ex would be ringing alarm bells for me.

LadyPenelope68 Thu 10-Nov-16 07:53:56

And without meaning to sound harsh, but if I was in your situation my priorities would be ensuring the right legal information/advice for my children and myself. Your husband is an adult, he can sort the legal advice he needs, your children can't.

Owllady Thu 10-Nov-16 07:57:07

I think in your situation I'd separate from my husband until after any investigation. Your children come first and your actions so far support the fact you believe this too. Has he isolated you from your family or have you don't this through choice?

Owllady Thu 10-Nov-16 07:58:12

Done not don't

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