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Contact costs

(3 Posts)
helrush Wed 12-Oct-16 06:03:55

Hi I moved away from my ex 4 years ago due to emotional abuse towards myself and eldest son. I spend half my child maintenance £100 monthly and approx 14 hours a month(200 mile round trip Friday / Sunday ) every fortnight. He has recently become aggressive demanding changes again (we has met at a train station but he now has new car so wants me to drive extra 15 miles each way to the venue of his choice)
Letter received from solicitors yesterday offering that monthly approx (but not regularly ) he will travel here (good as I'll save one journey) but in return I will meet at his venue choice so incurring extra 80 miles (after reduction of one journey ) but also reduce his maintain economic down to £150 monthly. This will mean my actual travel costs will remain at £60+ so real maintenance will be approx £25 week. As usual scared to say no though ... What shall I do? Can't afford a solicitors battle.

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts Wed 12-Oct-16 06:14:41

Why are you scared to say no? What can he do (except rant and rave, we get lots of this as well , I know it's stressful).

DPs ex-wife uses her solicitor a lot to try to sound scary, seriously, the solicitor has no more power than he does, he's just under the illusion rhat it makes things more official.

The maintenance is to cover the costs of brining up your child, those costs donmt change because he has decided to drive his shiny new car once a month. You also have an agree to do drop offs at he current location, so he doesn't get to demand that you change that.

Be strong, what's the worst that could happen? Whenever the ex is ranting at us I remember what FIL tells me, she is just acting like a spoilt brat that cannot get their own way, they scream and shout to intimidate you to do what they want. But you need to stand strong and not back down.

He can drive one weekend if he wants but it does not change where you drop of your child or how much maintenance he pays.

prh47bridge Wed 12-Oct-16 08:10:16

You could refer the maintenance to the CMS if you think he should be paying more. Note, however, that he can apply to the CMS for a "special expenses variation" to cover the cost of regular contact provided he is spending at least £10 per week on this.

You do not have to agree to the change in contact arrangements. His solicitor cannot make you. You can say no or you can propose a compromise. If he wants to insist on the change he will have to go to court. You can represent yourself if that happens and you can't afford a solicitor.

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