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Recommendations for tough Family/Divorce Lawyer in SE London

(4 Posts)
CaptainM Wed 14-Sep-16 12:51:24

Can anyone recommend a solicitor who can help deal with a very strong-willed and deceitful STBXH? We have tried mediation without success as he is fighting to have 50:50 shared parenting (to avoid CM), is refusing to move out of house (rental which he transferred to my name so he no longer has to pay ex) and is causing immense emotional and psychological distress to me and DC. He is now pushing himself on the children as much as possible and trying to push me away from them, to support his claim that he is more involved. Problem is he works for himself so it's easier for him to do that.

I have no intention of getting in the way of him having a strong relationship/regular contact with dc. I just think they're too young to be whisked off to a new home (which he is refusing to find until I agree to his 50:50 request), so soon after we've informed them of the separation. The only reason I agreed to take over tenancy for our house (for just 6 months, for now) was to provide them a level of stability whilst we're going through the changes.

I also believe he is siphoning money away and is intentionally running up debts, in an attempt to alter the information he provides in his Form E (which he is intentionally delaying).

He's refused to discuss finances (even through mediation) unless I agree to his 50:50 childcare request and has taken away our marriage certificate to prevent/delay my filing of the divorce petition.

I've met with a solicitor but I think I need someone tougher as my ex is on a mission to destroy me, and doesn't mind if he gets destroyed in the process too.

Probably helps to state that I instigated the separation after years of emotional/mental abuse, lack of transparency and controlling behaviour.

Any tips/information and recommendation of solicitors hugely appreciated/needed!

Fourormore Wed 14-Sep-16 16:51:42

No idea on the rest but you can just order a new copy of your marriage certificate.

greenberet Wed 14-Sep-16 18:42:14

I could have written this post -infact I wish i had 2 years ago - I know exactly what you mean when you say your X is out to destroy you both emotionally & financially - i am 1 month off final hearing and hoping to get an adjournment as I am now under mental health team for severe depression. My solicitor told me she understood the nature of narcisstic behaviour but terminated our working relationship after I questioned some of her advice/decisions and an extensive legal bill that i was only able to fund from an insurance payout. I was told I was highly suspicious and she doubted a lot of what I said x was doing although I have been proven right. My x ran up debts too claiming there was no money in the company but continued spending lavishly on himself and got proceeds from the house sale as a result. Im concerned \about the impact on the kids, they have been caught in the middle and I have concerns over their long term mental health as a result - he manipulates them too but they are in denial. I have had two court appearances and been less than impressed with the judges - one of the judges made a decision to sell the family home based on a statement so full of manipulation it would be laughable if it wasn't my situation. my solicitor has taken advantage of my emotional state of mind, my vulnerability and my depression - and to have to deal with this after finding out x had an affair with an employee for 6 months which he repeatedly denied - hence the reason I am now where i am. I have wanted to avoid court all the way through and had my solicitor been more experienced this may have been achieved. I have been recommended Stowe Family law they understand the narcisstic pattern of behaviour and have links to articles on emotional abuse and bullying. I was going to send you a private message op but this sort of situation seems to be all too common from reading the posts on relationships and somehow the system needs to change to protect the innocent and vulnerable and the kids. Im not sure what my outcome is likely to be but if i can help anyone avoid the hell i have been through and am still going through then there will be some good out of it all. I wish you luck x

PurplePink Wed 14-Sep-16 18:46:18

I have pm'd you.

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