Can SW do this?

[chickedy]

Have name changed for this.
I really really won't got into detail over this but basically my child was hurt by another family member. Someone I trusted to protect and look after my child. I had no clue they could do this.
DC no longer has anything to do with this person. Has not seen and will not see again unless when older they decide they want to.
Social workers were involved and now they want me to complete a parenting assessment. This is just adding to the trauma and turmoil I have already been through. They always say how well looked after and loved DC is. How they're developing impeccably well and are thriving. However they still want to put me through this.
I am the victim as well as my child. Someone hurt my child and now I have to have assessments done on me. I've got solicitors involved but I just do not see how this is fair. I've told them I will do anything for my child, I will jump through every hoop they put in front of me etc.
They even said its not necessary but they just have to tick a box and say it's done.
Is there anything I can do?

[CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger]

Is it just one off assessment or ongoing?

[RebootYourEngine]

If it is just a one off thing i would just do it.

Just curious, why dont you want to do an assessment? Whats involved in the assessment?

[MephistoMarley]

What is the nature of the plan they are on?
if it's not a child protection plan then you could argue that their single assessment/core assessment functions as a parenting assessment and you don't believe that a separate stand alone assessment is proportionate.

[VimFuego101]

They've acknowledged its just a box ticking exercise - they need to show they've done their job correctly. It must be horrible for you, but I'd just let them do their job.

[Incywincyspinster]

Would you not rather they went through their bureaucratic process with you as part of their standard routine, if doing so for every "client" (for want of a better word) they meet with ensures that another child who is at risk or struggling is quickly identified and given the correct support?

I know it seems intimidating and as if you're under suspicion of something but social work are much more about supporting families than breaking them up. No one shouts about the good stuff they do and there are many more good stories than bad!

[Waltermittythesequel]

You've told them you'll jump through hoops but you won't full out a form?

[SantasLittleMonkeyButler]

I would certainly let them do it, and then you can be discharged from their service and try to start moving on with life.

Of course you feel as though this is some sort of punishment for you - but it really isn't at all. The SW has a responsibility to thoroughly check that your DC is safe & well before signing him/her off as it were.

From what you have said, and what the SW has told you, this is all they need to do.

I'm so sorry that either you or your DC have had this happen in the first place .

[chickedy]

They've said it will take up to 12 weeks to complete. We are having problems with our social worker anyway (think bullying).

I know I'll do anything it's just making me feel so sick and anxious.

[chickedy]

WalterMitty pardon? If the parenting assessments are just form filling then I did not know that

[Waltermittythesequel]

Sorry, I misread.

But even so, you've done nothing wrong. I cannot understand why you would be willing to do anything, but not this?

Why not? What's stopping you?

[blueskyinmarch]

If it is a 12 week assessment then i would think there is some aspects of your parenting they are concerned about. Ask them what it is that has prompted this. I am a SW and would only undertake such an assessment if i had real concerns.

[chickedy]

I will and am going to do it. It's just very stressful.
And they said they're not concerned with any aspects of my parenting but they still have to do it. I know the social worker really pushed for it after I made a complaint to his manager about him (but that's a whole other story).

[niceupthedance]

I'm glad you are going to do it. You'll find it less stressful as it continues. Although I've worked in family assessment and it isn't usually a box-ticking exercise as it's pretty expensive, especially 12 weeks' worth. I'd ask for more info on what the assessment is going to be used for.

[MidnightVelvettheSixth]

Sorry to be blunt OP but you are not the victim here, your child is. And your child has been hurt by somebody who you left in charge.

Your post is all about you, how they are doing it to you, putting you through it, assessments done on you, the trauma you have endured etc

Social workers have too much work as it is, they will not make you do stuff for shits & giggles because they're bored!

[MephistoMarley]

Parenting assessments are not just a form, they are very full on and intensive. It's not good practice to carry one out for the sake of it. If the SW has said they aren't concerned about your parenting then please ask them to explain why they want you do undertake a full parenting assessment.
Usually such an assessment is only carried out if the case is particularly complex or if it is likely to go into care proceedings.

[MissMargie]

But there is the fact that op made a complaint against sw - if this is the sw now demanding a longwinded and expensive assessment they should surely explain what it is, why it is needed etc At least they should be able to deal with solicitor if not op.
There are voluntary advocates in some parts of the country who will attend meetings with you , op, see if there any in your area.

[Waltermittythesequel]

In fairness, we don't know the ins and outs. Nor should we.

'Hurt' can vary a lot and we don't know what circumstances OP was in when child was left.

It could be that they see you as vulnerable still, OP and maybe needing extra help?

[Cassimin]

I am a foster carer and have done these courses as part of my training and have also done others voluntarily. Although I have brought up my own children having never feeling the need for any training I have found some of these courses interesting.
Of course some of it is trying to teach you what you already know but you can pick up some advice and support of the others on the course.
If it's only 12 weeks and it means you don't need to have SW involvement again I would just get on with it.

[blueskyinmarch]

It is highly unlikely a SW will be doing a 12 week assessment because the client made a complaint. It isn’t exactly an easy task. OP hasn’t given a lot of detail about the incident and the circumstances around it. It is possible that this assessment is entirely justified.

[MephistoMarley]

A parenting assessment isn't a course.

[blueskyinmarch]

It is definitely not a course. It is the SW (or an agency tasked to do this) who will make weekly visits to the home to observe OP’s parenting and ask about all aspects of her lifestyle/how she was parented etc. Then the person carrying out the assessment will have to put it into a report and make recommendations. It is generally carried out when there are concerns about parenting.

[chickedy]

I will not discuss the ins and outs. But in any case the last time I had contact with the social worker he made me cry, then told me I will need to do assessments that will take up to 12 weeks, then left.
I've emailed and phoned since to ask what it entails, can I have more details etc but he is ignoring me.
In fact he has ignored me several times when I've bought up things I'm not happy with.
I'm not comfortable with him doing these assessments as it will mean being on my own with him (I always make sure I have someone with me when he comes round). Can I request someone else do this

[blueskyinmarch]

Is it a parenting assessment or just a general welfare assessment? They are very different things. You can make a request to have a change of worker. Maybe try calling and talking to the team manager?

[Waltermittythesequel]

the last time I had contact with the social worker he made me cry, then told me I will need to do assessments that will take up to 12 weeks, then left.

Request a switch in SW but, tbh, you do sound a little vulnerable and this really might be for the best!

[OliviaStabler]

It sounds like they are questioning your judgement, not how well your DC is getting on.

Am sure it is very, very stressful but it is happening, so chin up and you will get through it. Good luck.