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Any solicitors?? What is the paper called you can get to take your DC abroad without their dad?

(14 Posts)
Anothernamechanger1 Tue 06-Sep-16 14:06:03

So my kids are nc with their father. I left an abusive marriage. He pays maintenance. He continues to harass me. He knows I need his permission to go on holiday abroad. I don't want to have to go to him each and every time to 'ask' him. He is a horrid person. Iv heard on here you can get a piece of paper from a solicitor that states the mother (or whoever looks after the child) can take the children on holiday for 30 days and you just need to get it signed once and lasts until they are 18. Does anyone know the facts about this and the process etc?

Tia

MrsBertBibby Tue 06-Sep-16 15:52:33

There is no such thing. If you have an order stating the children live with you then the 28 day rule applies, otherwise you need his permission.

However, in reality, no one stops and checks, and if you are no contact, how will he know to do anything about it?

Anothernamechanger1 Tue 06-Sep-16 16:07:07

Checks seem to be on the rise and I don't want to risk it. I don't have an order. We were divorced 6 years ago and there was a 'statement of children' but solicitor said that doesn't hold up on court any more as it was a long time ago and things change. How can I get one without making it seem I'm kicking off to him? Can I go to a solicitor to ask for something in writing that would legally cover me to take them on holiday without his permission if he signs it orignially?

Fourormore Tue 06-Sep-16 18:38:41

You can get a specific issue order for this. You would have to go to court.

Anothernamechanger1 Tue 06-Sep-16 18:46:02

So him and I would physically have to stand in court you mean or do you mean apply to te court?

TheForeignOffice Tue 06-Sep-16 18:55:45

Leave To Remove is the court document, normally applied for one-parent emigration, expatriation etc but I guess is usable for any purpose?

Anothernamechanger1 Tue 06-Sep-16 19:02:43

How can I find out for definite? I can't afford to go to have a meeting with a solicitor aswell as paying for any paperwork. He won't go to court, I know he won't. I wonder if a letter worded by and typed by a solicitor that he signs would be sufficient if it says until youngest child was 18?!

MrsBertBibby Tue 06-Sep-16 19:45:50

I am a solicitor. As I said, either you get his consent, or you apply to the Court for an order, (an order providing for residence will also enable you to appoint a guardian in your will even if he is still alive when you die) or you do nothing and take the gamble.

As a lawyer, I can never advise other people to take the gamble. As a separated parent, I do it all the time. Only ever been stopped on the way home, and passport control don't give a monkey's about catching people out for this, they are looking for traffickers and people smugglers.

There is no letter a solicitor can write that will help you.

Anothernamechanger1 Tue 06-Sep-16 19:57:37

Thanks Mrs, I didn't know that about the will. I don't have a will as I don't have any possessions and thought the kids would have to go to him regardless? So to do that would me and him physically have to go to court or is it something that can be done via paperwork? Any idea of the costs?

Anothernamechanger1 Tue 06-Sep-16 19:58:39

I have travelled without written consent (he knew we were going) but I didn't know I needed it in writing. I don't want to do it again as I would be worried as it is classed as child abduction and he's the sort to report me to the police as he is nasty

MrsBertBibby Tue 06-Sep-16 20:16:35

If he agrees, you can send in a consent order for approval. Judge may insist on you both coming in first. If he won't agree, then mediation first, and if that doesn't resolve it, you send your application to court and await a hearing. CAFCASS do background checks etc. If he doesn't turn up, and the judge is satisfied he has had the papers, then the judge may just make the orders at the first hearing. Of course, if he shows up and says he wants contact etc, then all that gets looked at too.

Really hard to predict costs, because there are so many variables. If you were asking to instruct me from start to finish, I'd say you'd be best to budget £1000 minimum assuming he just ignores, and if it turned into a full on contact and residence dispute you could end up the wrong side of £10K.

Or you could start things off yourself and come back when you get confused, or want representation. Most solicitors are happy with that, we do know we are horrifically expensive.

Anothernamechanger1 Tue 06-Sep-16 20:38:36

Ah man see I think it would turn nasty. He claims I'm refusing to let him see them. He abused them. They are petrified and want nothing to do with him. So I'm doing my best to protect them. I didn't go to court before to get him away as I couldn't afford to and because my solicitor told me he would be given access through contact centre and I couldn't put the DC through that, and all the cafcass etc. My passport is currently in same surname as my DC but in 2 years when I renew it it will have to be my maiden name as Iv changed my name via depot as was since re married and seperating.

Do they still ask if the passport is in the same name as DC or is it just if you are traveling without the other parent? So I'm guessing a letter signed by him saying he consents to all holidays say max 14 days until youngest is 18, would that not cover me if I was stopped?

butterfly990 Tue 06-Sep-16 21:45:54

I was stopped returning from holiday in Spain at immigration (UK) and asked my relationship to the children. The have their father's name. Father has recently died.

I was advised that it would be a good idea in future for me to carry with me photocopies of their birth certificates to avoid any issues. There was no other questions asked.

I hope everything works out for you xx

Anothernamechanger1 Wed 07-Sep-16 18:41:34

Thanks butterfly, I have their birth certificates but surely any one can carry the birth certificate on them? Or is it because it names me on it?

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