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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Legal matters

What is the law when seperated from the step parent please?

29 replies

Anothernamechanger1 · 05/09/2016 08:38

If you are married so your 'spouse' is your children's step parent and you permanently seperate, does the step parent, who has no contact with the DC, still have parental rights?

Tia

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sleepyMe12 · 05/09/2016 08:40

I'm probably completely wrong but would the step parent have to adopt the child for parental responsibility?

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user1471734618 · 05/09/2016 08:41

only if they have officially adopted the children.
Is someone trying to tell you otherwise?

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gettingtherequickly · 05/09/2016 08:42

You have to adopt to have parental rights.

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user1471734618 · 05/09/2016 08:42

there is no such thing as 'parental rights' btw.
Children have rights, parents have responsibilities.

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Anothernamechanger1 · 05/09/2016 08:44

I thought that when you got married your spouse had parental responsibility over the children? I'm sure I read that on here? He isn't remotely interested in me let alone them and was going to put off the divorce for now as I have too much else to cope with but I don't want him having any 'claim' to them in any way? I had a bad time with DC birth dad and that divorce and it was horrific, I think I'm just badly burnt from that so I need to make sure I'm covering all basis and my own back!

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Anothernamechanger1 · 05/09/2016 08:44

Yes I beg your par den, I meant parental responsibilities.

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user1471734618 · 05/09/2016 08:46

How long were you married?
Did he spend a lot of time looking after the children?
Nobody can come and 'claim' children if they have nothing to do with them.

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Anothernamechanger1 · 05/09/2016 08:51

Married 11 months, he didn't look after them. I did everything child related.

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Berthatydfil · 05/09/2016 08:52

Disclaimer - I'm not a solicitor

I don't think there is such a thing as parental rights there is parental responsibility which is conferred on the mother by birth and father by being married to the mother or by being on the birth cert or by a legal process after birth or by adoption (both parents)
If the child has both parents then they would have retained their parental responsibility (if they had it originally) even if they separated /married other people unless one of them relinquished pr or the child was adopted by the step parent.

If however a child had a close relationship with a step child ie brought them up from birth for many years and the relationship then broke down I think they could probably apply to the court for contact in the same way as a grandparent may.

However if they have never had PR then I doubt they could apply after a relationship broke down and therefore probably couldn't influence choice of school consent to medical treatments etc. If they did have PR they might be able to though.

You haven't given much other info as to the context and which party you are so you may wish to seek legal advice.

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user1471734618 · 05/09/2016 08:53

from what you are saying, your fears sound groundless.

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Berthatydfil · 05/09/2016 08:55

Ah ok cross posting.
I would say your ex the child's "natural" father still has PR unless it was removed.
Has he ever applied legally for PR during the relationship?

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Anothernamechanger1 · 05/09/2016 08:58

Berth, the children are mine. He is/was step father.

What about things like for example one of the DC were involved with the attendance board through school and even though I dealt with them solely they said they had to address a letter and send one to me and to their step dad as he was legally liable aswell (worded in a better way than that obviously) so I guess what I need to know, if we are still legally married is he still responsible/get the correspondence etc? Or is us being seperated 'enough' to severe that tie? (Iv used the attendance board as an example)

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StarOnTheTree · 05/09/2016 09:08

My XH claimed all the rights to DD1 through court so regular access and also her passport taken when he claimed I was a flight risk I wasn't

Her biological fathet wasn't on the scene but since she did actually have one the court said that he didn't have to take any financial responsibility for her. I wasn't bothered about him having the rights but bloody hell make him take responsibility for her too. You can't have it both ways. Well you can if you're a middle class white male with plenty of money for lawyers

He wasn't interested in either child, it was just another way to control me.

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AlfrescoBalconyWanker · 05/09/2016 09:43

www.gov.uk/parental-rights-responsibilities/apply-for-parental-responsibility

Unless he applied for PR and was granted it, then he doesn't have it.

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Anothernamechanger1 · 05/09/2016 09:46

No he never applied, thank you alfresco

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user1471734618 · 05/09/2016 09:49

Could the attendance board have been mistaken?

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Anothernamechanger1 · 05/09/2016 09:52

I don't know but that's what they told me when they first sat down with me a while ago to discuss school? Iv emailed them this morning stating Iv legally changed my name back and to remove him off DC file as he has nothing to do with them.... I'm hoping that's enough.

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user1471734618 · 05/09/2016 09:55

well in that case, then even someone's lodger would be responsible for school attendance....
surely someone was mistaken.

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prh47bridge · 05/09/2016 12:48

I thought that when you got married your spouse had parental responsibility over the children

That only applies to the children's biological father. A step parent can only get PR through a formal agreement or a court order.

Even without PR he could still have been fined if your children did not attend school. However, now that you have separated he should not be chased for any further school fines.

well in that case, then even someone's lodger would be responsible for school attendance

No, only the child's parents. That includes step parents regardless of whether or not they have PR.

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crusoe16 · 07/09/2016 10:30

well in that case, then even someone's lodger would be responsible for school attendance

No, only the child's parents. That includes step parents regardless of whether or not they have PR

Seriously??? I'm presuming just the SP who is married to the RP. Or is it DF, DM and potentially both SP's that are responsible? I had no idea!

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prh47bridge · 07/09/2016 10:54

I'm presuming just the SP who is married to the RP

The relevant law just says "parents" and does not define the term. It also makes them liable for non-attendance even if they are not aware that the child is not attending. Some LAs will only fine the parent with care, some will also include the NRP. If the parents remarry some LAs will fine the step-parent married to the parent with care. I don't know of any that would fine a step-parent married to the NRP but legally they would appear to have the power to do so.

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crusoe16 · 07/09/2016 11:03

Wow. Thanks for clarifying. Not that it's a concern atm. Thankfully SC and DC are all quite keen on school....

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Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 07/09/2016 11:07

Being married to someone with kids DOES NOT give you parental responsibility unless you both went to court to obtain it.

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prh47bridge · 07/09/2016 11:16

Being married to someone with kids DOES NOT give you parental responsibility unless you both went to court to obtain it

If you are the biological father of the child you automatically get PR if you marry the mother.

In England and Wales a step parent can obtain PR by getting a court order or by entering into a PR agreement with everyone who has PR. In Scotland I believe step parents always need to get a court order to obtain PR.

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NNChangeAgain · 07/09/2016 14:01

It's bloody complicated and something I've had to wade through (like treacle) over the last few years. This is my experience, based on English law

Firstly - with regard to PR, a court can award this, either specifically, or if a stepparent is named on Child Arrangement Order as someone the child normally lives with. If you have a Court Order for residency, check if he's named.

Secondly - married stepparents and anyone who has lived with a DC for two years or more (even a lodger) has the automatic right to apply to court for contact with the DC. Probably not relevant in your case.

Thirdly - schools consider anyone that fulfils a "parental role" as a parent and engages with them in that way. Guidance from the DfE reinforces this. So a resident stepparent who has previously been involved in the DCs day to day schooling (attended meetings, been an emergency contact, been a regular at drop off/pick up ) would be included in aspects of the DCs schooling such as attendance or safeguarding. Your notifying the school that you are now separated should be enough to stop them doing this. They have no legal obligation to unless he has PR (see above).

HTH