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changing custody

(15 Posts)
happyfrown Sun 28-Aug-16 19:50:29

please no sticks and stones, we've been through enough, I just need to ask some advice.
my 2 boys will be living full time with their dad. ive been told they need to be 'signed over'? why is this? they are not cars! when we split up and he left, we didn't need to do or say anything. I just had to claim as a single parent. I don't really want to get people involved in fear of social services poking noses. bad experience from childhood puts fear in me.
why cant we just change roles?

another problem I have is he is currently staying at his friends house in a spare room, housing have told him as he has an abode and the kids have a home (with me) there is no reason to put him on bidding list or house him, he doesn't own enough money to rent private hence why he is with his friend. so we are stuck with what to do, does anyone have any advice please.

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 28-Aug-16 23:03:55

If you do not have a court order, it is likely to be switching who gets the child benefit.

happyfrown Sun 28-Aug-16 23:54:26

no we have come to an agreement so I thought there would be no need for legal matters, I just thought they go to live with him (when he gets somewhere) I stop any benefit payments and he switches the child benefit.
but a neighbour and another person have told me I need to sign over custody?

MrsBertBibby Mon 29-Aug-16 08:55:33

If their dad has parental responsibility (on birth certificates if they are 12 or under, or you were married) then you don't have to do anything. He must apply for child benefit, and you confirm it's fine when they write to you about it.

No need for social services at all.

Fourormore Mon 29-Aug-16 10:57:46

There's no such thing as custody anymore so perhaps the person telling you that is misinformed.
As MrsBertBibby says, you don't have to do anything.
The only thing I can think is that your ex may prefer a formal arrangement and be wanting a Child Arrangements Order but that isn't strictly necessary. I'm not even sure he could get one if there is no dispute about the arrangements.

CannotEvenDeal Mon 29-Aug-16 11:03:15

I'm quite sure that contact can be legally laid out even if there's no dispute.

I also think a CAO would also be beneficial to protect the OP's right to have contact with her dc?

CannotEvenDeal Mon 29-Aug-16 11:04:36

Sorry, "contact" in the first sentence should have said arrangements.

Fourormore Mon 29-Aug-16 11:11:10

Cannot - The Children Act says:
s 1(5) ‘Where a court is considering whether or not to make one or more orders under this Act with respect to a child, _it shall not make the order or any of the orders unless it considers that doing so would be better for the child than making no order at all.’_

A court would only make an order if it was deemed necessary. Where two parents are in agreement then it is not necessary and the law prevents an order from being made.

MephistoMarley Mon 29-Aug-16 11:16:01

The courts follow a no order principle and there is absolutely no need to go to court if you and your ex are in agreement.
What sort of accommodation do you live in? Could your ex take over your tenancy and you move out? I'm afraid he won't get help from the council but if he can find a private rental and claim housing benefit he will be ok

CannotEvenDeal Mon 29-Aug-16 11:29:44

Thank you for the info. Whenever previously amicable exes have fallen out over contact etc many posters have replied asking why it was not court-ordered in the first place to avoid disputes. I therefore thought that it was a possibly. Thanks again.

happyfrown Tue 30-Aug-16 14:50:18

sorry for delay reply,
me and ex have been separated for since ds2 was 2, they have lived with me since but due to my health ex p and I have spoken about the ds living with him now. amicable arrangements. he just needs to find his own place to have them. im relieved I don't need courts or and sign overs!

Mephistofmarley my youngest dc from another partner will remain with me so I need to keep my residence. housing told him same thing about renting private, unfortunately he doesn't earn enough to cover deposit and first months rent.

thankyou for your help x

happyfrown Tue 30-Aug-16 14:51:58

just need to add ds2 is now nearly 12 as I didn't mention his age in the thread. thanks

ImperialBlether Tue 30-Aug-16 14:52:51

I don't want to throw sticks and stones at you, as you say, but what do you think will be the impact on the older two boys if they move out altogether and how will your youngest cope without them?

Fourormore Tue 30-Aug-16 14:54:55

What does that have to do with the OP's legal query, Imperial?

happyfrown Tue 30-Aug-16 16:58:01

I don't have the mental energy to stress about peoples opinions today, but my 2 dss are fully aware of our personal situation and are involved in every way. they have chosen to live with their father. as for the relationship between my youngest and ds's they don't see eye to eye and given the bigger age gap they are not close at all.

if it doesn't come across, im trying to work this out in the easiest less stressful way for my family.

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