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Change at Christmas

(29 Posts)
Lisa3578 Sun 21-Aug-16 10:07:07

Hello,

I have two children to the same father and another younger to a different father. I currently have a court order where we hand over on boxing day but I want Christmas day as I don't want my youngest to miss out on Christmas day with the other two however the father of the other wont agree to this as they are with him this year. I am looking to take this back to court to get it changed.

Has anybody else had such luck?

Thank you

Heratnumber7 Sun 21-Aug-16 10:12:50

Doesn't seem very fair on the kids' father or the DCs themselves. He is also entitled to Christmas day with hid own children, and they with him.

This is going to crop up every year - you should have thought about it before you had third child.

12purpleapples Sun 21-Aug-16 10:20:01

Does he always have them on Christmas day or do you alternate years?

Tiggeryoubastard Sun 21-Aug-16 10:20:47

^ what Herat said.

Lisa3578 Sun 21-Aug-16 10:26:52

they are alternated. I had them on Christmas day last year

notapizzaeater Sun 21-Aug-16 10:28:00

Sorry but he has as much right to have his children in Xmas day

tribpot Sun 21-Aug-16 10:30:59

Shame not to have them all together on baby's first Christmas but not the end of the world. Why not just celebrate Christmas on Boxing Day this year?

Tiggeryoubastard Sun 21-Aug-16 10:34:07

So you had them last year, why the hell shouldn't he have his kids this year because of choices you've made? I can understand you'd miss them but you sound extremely selfish.

ThatsMyStapler Sun 21-Aug-16 10:38:22

Have Christmas on Christmas Eve, they won't mind and then it's fair to the 2 older ones. Make Christmas day special with just you and youngest (and father if you are still together)

It's just a day, and will be as special as you make it.

I know this isn't in AIBU, but I think you would be very very unreasonable to try and get this changed, and unlikely to be successful

VimFuego101 Sun 21-Aug-16 10:44:51

Just celebrate your Christmas Day on a different day. The baby won't know any different.

Lisa3578 Sun 21-Aug-16 10:51:55

the baby will nearly be 3

Titsalinabumsquash Sun 21-Aug-16 10:53:42

Alternate Christmas is just part of a split family, their Dad has every right to have them on the day just like you did last year and will again next year.

Iguessyourestuckwithme Sun 21-Aug-16 10:56:53

Yah totally unreasonable. Why should your children /father miss out on Christmas day together because you've had a 3rd child and now have to make access arrangements for a 2nd family

Temporaryanonymity Sun 21-Aug-16 10:57:10

What arrangements do you have in place? My exH has my sons once a month and I'd find it incredibly difficult to agree to alternate Christmases as they wouldn't want to be away from home at such a special time. But if it's 50/50 then that's a different matter.

Lisa3578 Sun 21-Aug-16 10:59:08

Christmas is split half half

Lisa3578 Sun 21-Aug-16 11:02:27

each get 1 full week

VimFuego101 Sun 21-Aug-16 11:02:36

A 3yo has no idea what day Christmas falls on. Just do it on Boxing Day instead.

ThatsMyStapler Sun 21-Aug-16 11:26:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tribpot Sun 21-Aug-16 11:49:46

So what is the court order you are seeking? That you have the kids every Christmas Day so that your youngest child doesn't miss out on Christmas with his/her siblings?

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 21-Aug-16 11:50:32

As a single parent who also works on call on Alternate Christmas Days, Christmas really is the day you make it.
Of course we would all love to be with our children every Christmas, but in blended families that is never going to happen. Create a new special tradition for the years they are with you for new year that makes that time special in s different way.

Lisa3578 Sun 21-Aug-16 11:50:48

split Christmas day 50/50 and have hand over then

PotteringAlong Sun 21-Aug-16 11:53:20

Then he'll have Christmas with the other 2 when he's nearly 4.

What if their father had another child and didn't want them to miss out? Would you give up every Christmas?

ThatsMyStapler Sun 21-Aug-16 11:56:12

well thats very strange, that was for another thread....? i'll report and ask to be removed..

please ignore my post above

tribpot Sun 21-Aug-16 12:02:17

But you already split Christmas Day 50/50. I take it you want to do handover on the day so that you see them for part of every Christmas Day (either in the morning before the handover or in the evening after the dropoff) but that restricts his choices about how and where to spend Christmas with his kids.

As Lonecat says, this is just the reality of blended families. We had a complicated arrangement that had to be co-ordinated across three households that involved celebrating Christmas twice every year, once on the day and once around New Year. That's just how it goes.

IzzyIsBusy Sun 21-Aug-16 12:09:33

You are being unfair.
You had Christmas last year and now its dads turn.

If you do go to court i hope the ruling is that it stays as it is as that is fair.

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