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Solicitor/Executor has ignored DM's specific wishes

(7 Posts)
Pleasemrstweedie Fri 12-Aug-16 14:12:15

DM died five weeks ago - long back story. The retired partners at her solicitors are the executors and the file is being handled by an associate.

He organised and advertised her funeral before I was aware of her death as he apparently could not find my contact details. Once I became involved I pointed out that DM had asked for her body to go for medical research and he explained that it had been refused and that is why we were having the funeral. I pointed out that DM was a lifelong atheist and would not be happy about the minister he had booked. I asked. If he could be at least replaced by a humanist celebrant and was refused.

The funeral took place yesterday. It was taken by a Christian minister and included a psalm.

This solicitor has now sent me a copy of DM's Will, which says quite specifically that, if her body did not go for medical research, it was to be cremated 'without ceremony, mourning or followers'. I think that's pretty clear.

I've not been in this situation before, so I don't know whether it is usual for solicitors to ignore their deceased client's wishes.

I am struggling will all this. Should I now be making a complaint as well?

ImperialBlether Fri 12-Aug-16 14:23:25

Is he crazy? Of course you should complain!

I'm sorry you lost your mum. Were you close to her?

Globetrotter100 Fri 12-Aug-16 14:29:16

I am very sorry for your loss. Also that you should have had an additional burden of stress put upon you by this situation.

Its very personal. Based purely on me and the relationship I had with my late mother I would make a formal complaint, yes. I would also be informing the church where she has been buried and the local crematorium.

I would insist that the solicitor compensate for all funeral costs incurred so far, compensate for an enormous amount for pain and suffering (I would really threaten to bleed them and their reputation dry, national newspaper stuff and everything) and that they should rectify this situation by arranging a cremation forthwith (within 48 hours, and again entirely at their expense).

All compensation funds would be donated to my mother's favorite charity.

Best of luck whatever you do, and I am sending you my deepest sympathies.

Cockblocktopus Fri 12-Aug-16 14:32:16

Absolutely complain!

MooseBeTimeForSnow Fri 12-Aug-16 14:42:40

Start by complaining to the head of department, then the Senior Partner. Then go to the Solicitors Regulation Authority.

prettybird Fri 12-Aug-16 14:53:47

I agree that as a minimum you should be compensated for the additional funeral costs.

prettybird Fri 12-Aug-16 14:58:22

There are also other options instead of medical research that you should have been given the opportunity to consider: such as a cadaver for medical students. And are you confident that her body was actually offered for research?

Certainly sounds like he was a bit gung-ho as executor and may not have even bothered checking it out.

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