mediation and contact advice needed please

[mrsdarcey78]

Hi I have posted about this before but just to add that my children are 18 14 and 9. Havent seen ex for two years. Got a court order two weeks ago for contact order from him. Have eventually now got a solicitor. according to her he would have no chance of getting the order, the oldest its inappropriate to be on the order, the 14 year old wouldnt be forced or put on a order, and after what the 9 year old witnessed, and is still scared of him, would not have to see him and after such a long gap, would maybe be indirect contact. I am hopeful this is the case. I have offered mediation, he apparently contacted mediation to which I was not invited but he still filed with the court anyway, but I have contacted mediation and he said thats fine as long as its at my expense, even though hes the one thats working at a well paid job and I am a full time carer, I have gone to another firm that offers legal aid and I am seeing them on Monday. I also wish to get the finances for the divorce I am filing this month sorted out too. Any hints or tips on how to handle the mediation? I will be asking for shuttle mediation as I am still to this day scared of the man, he was emotionally and financially abusive and I thought we were free of him after two years of no contact, and suddenly its all started again, been a awful two weeks. also got cafcass phoning in two weeks (one week before the court date) any help on what to say?. He was abusive to the children as well, humilating, bullying, shouting screaming, and ranting every day. They used to get upset when he was coming home from work. and hide in their rooms, it was awful. He was also told by the previous mediator that the older two would not be even discussed at court and he just refused to listen to that. its also been "his" way as far as he is concerned. sorry after two years this have been a awful shock to us all. the kids are scared and frightened about it all. any help appreciated thank you.