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Custody issue

(5 Posts)
looby76 Mon 04-Jul-16 11:11:22

I left my husband over 18 months ago, now divorced. I had nowhere to go so had to leave the children with him. I had regular access and started having them regularly overnight after 6 weeks. Before the break up I was the main carer. I moved away (30 miles) due to treatment from ex. My children to boy 10 & 7 now want to live with me, they are happy to change schools, they just don't want to be with him. All current arrangements only work because I put all the effort in. He is going to court to stop me from moving the boys. Can he get custody? Even if the boys don't want to be with him.

Fourormore Mon 04-Jul-16 11:48:36

So the children have been living with their father for 18 months?
At 10 and 7, the children's wishes will be listened to but the overriding factor is their welfare, not their wishes.

He can't get custody as that hasn't existed since 1989 but the children will be considered to be living with him and you will have to convince the court why uprooting them from their lives is in their best interests.

If you're only 30 miles away then you might be better off trying for a 50:50 arrangement and keeping them at the school they are already in.

looby76 Mon 04-Jul-16 12:55:44

we've had 50/50 arrangements since then, but the boys are distraught every time they have to go back to him

Fourormore Mon 04-Jul-16 13:22:48


looby76 Mon 04-Jul-16 13:45:50

I've asked them the same thing, As much as I want them living with me, I wouldn't be doing this if they hadn't have asked me. They say they aren't happy when they are there. The eldest says he feels more supported when he's with me. they say the atmosphere is better with me.
My ex was an emotional and sometimes phhysical abuser towards me. He was never this way with the boys otherwise I would have insisted that they came with me. I also didn't want to use this against my ex, but feel I have very little choice.

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