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Do I have parental responsibility for my daughter?

(15 Posts)
Usedandabusedimhurting Fri 27-May-16 20:32:52

Well, my step daughter?

I was written into the residency order, so [Her name] is to live with her father [his name] and his wife [my name].

I've split with my husband. But am I right in thinking that until that court order is discharged, I still have parental responsibility for her?

Thanks in advance

lateforeverything Sat 28-May-16 12:59:22

Yes, I believe that you do still have it.

I'm not a lawyer but gained PR through a residency order for my dss.

Are you concerned about any issue in particular that would require you to exercise your PR?

Usedandabusedimhurting Sat 28-May-16 14:06:17

That's exactly what I thought.

There are concerns for her welfare, her school are worried, her mum is worried and so am I. Her Dad is a rapist, and she currently lives with him full time, social services and police felt (worryingly) that as his offences only related to adult women (2 separate cases, me and another) she is safe with him, but my young daughter has disclosed sexual abuse so I'm even more concerned for my DSD now.

The school are doing a CAF and I'd like the details of that so I need exercise my PR for that.

Thanks for the reply.

SlapACatFuckADuck Sat 28-May-16 19:21:53

If you have PR and are worried can't you take her to live with you and apply for an emergency order? The order names you on the residency order on it. It's what I'd do on Monday

Usedandabusedimhurting Sat 28-May-16 20:14:06

She wouldn't come with me. She's 14 and very brainwashed. I wanted her to come with us but she wouldn't sad

lateforeverything Sat 28-May-16 20:31:01

What's her relationship with her mum like? Could/would she go and live there? How did it come about that you and dh got residency?

How old is your younger child? Have you reported the disclosure to the police?

Sorry to fire qs, just trying to get a full picture.

Usedandabusedimhurting Sat 28-May-16 20:43:00

She has a bad relationship with her mum due to parental alienation from her Dad. But as my DSD tells everyone she's fine and wants to be with her Dad although it's clear now that she's depressed, it seems there's not much that can be done.

She wouldn't go live with her mum although her mum would have her in an instant.

We got residency as she came to live with us from her mums (I'd just had my daughter and family life was better with us (she grew extremely close to me, I'm the best parent she's had) than at her mums.

My younger child is 3, due to her age, lack of evidence, time since offences happened it didn't meet the threshold for a formal investigation although shes getting support now.

I feel dreadful as I did all I could to keep her with me, her Dad and my 3 year old not realising that I was in a DV relationship and that he was alienating her from her mum. He did the same to me from everyone I knew. I feel like I kept her with her Dad and it's all my fault she's with him now.

lateforeverything Sat 28-May-16 21:05:32

Oh my goodness. Ok, first of all, you are not to blame, he is.

When were you granted residency? Is dss now living alone with your stbxh? I would probably still try to go for the emergency order. At 14 her wishes would certainly be considered but wouldn't be the best all and end all. But again, I'm not a lawyer...

Even though the police could not investigate formally, have you reported the disclosure to SS?


lateforeverything Sat 28-May-16 21:06:07

*BE all and end all

notapizzaeater Sat 28-May-16 21:12:33

Can you phine SS / police and tell them about the abuse now you know ? It's a different ball game now.

Usedandabusedimhurting Mon 30-May-16 19:47:23

Order was granted in 2013. And yes, my DSD is living alone with him when he's raped 2 women and sexually abused my 3 year old daughter.

Social services contacted me after I reported to the police. I know on file it says my youngest has a sister but think maybe it must have been over looked? I will phone social services tomorrow and make sure they know she's living with him alone etc etc.

lateforeverything Thu 02-Jun-16 09:00:09

Hi, what did SS say about the situation?

Coconutty Thu 02-Jun-16 09:03:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Usedandabusedimhurting Thu 02-Jun-16 09:41:41

I reported it all to social services, all of my concerns. The lady was lovely, absolutely lovely and talked me through the questions.

It's being looked into now by the safeguarding people. I just hope something gets done, but in all honesty, I'm not holding out much hope.

Lunar1 Thu 02-Jun-16 09:42:49

This must be horrendous for you, I hope ss can sort this out quickly.

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