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Not married with a chile

(8 Posts)
lightcola Tue 17-May-16 16:19:32

Hello. Me and my partner (father of my child and one of the way) are not married. We are engaged but as ever life is getting in the way and have put the wedding on hold. I have been told by someone that because we aren't married, if I was to die he wouldn't not automatically get custody of our children - is this correct? I don't have any money, possessions or property so I haven't thought about doing a will as I just assumed he would be responsible if I died.

Any help or advice please?

firesidechat Tue 17-May-16 16:26:37

If he is on the birth certificate then it won't make any difference and he will get custody of your children. He won't inherit your estate unless you leave a will to that effect.

CrazyDuchess Tue 17-May-16 16:28:20

If he is on the birth certificate why wouldn't he get custody??

Get a will in place

LisaMed Tue 17-May-16 18:39:33

How are relations between the families. If he goes under the bus will you be invited to the funeral?

BikeRunSki Tue 17-May-16 18:43:23

Get a will drawn up, even if you have no estate. My first will was largely about who was to look after the DC if me, DH or both of us died and a piece of jewellery I wanted my niece to have.

lightcola Tue 17-May-16 20:51:52

Ok so a will it is. Thank you for your help. There's so much to consider.

babybarrister Tue 17-May-16 23:08:45

where do you live and where was your child born? the law in the UK is that if the father is on the UK birth certificate then he would automatically have parental responsibility which would give him the right to apply to a court for the child to reside with him if there were a dispute. It is not necessarily the case that he even has parental responsibility if the child's birth certificate is not from the UK ....

you also need to understand that whilst the English courts are very generous to married mothers, they are very mean to unmarried mothers, something you might want to bear in mind grin

Marilynsbigsister Thu 19-May-16 23:06:29

For goodness sake get your priorities in order. ! You have one child and one on the way and aren't married. There should be no question about 'life getting in the way'. This is important. It cost £115 to get down to the registry office mid week with two witnesses (friends, family or complete strangers) and completely cover your family in the event of a tragedy.
. Despite being able to get custody, he still wouldn't qualify for widowed parents allowance, or £2000 worth of bereavement benefits, which, believe me, come in bloody handy while trying to deal with grief and look after babies having lost a spouse.
He isn't your next of kin legally until you are married.
If your reticence is because you don't have the money for the glitzy party, don't worry about that at the moment. The urgency is the legal cover. Have a blessing and knees up for your mates at a later date.

£115 . The best deal on the market.

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