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Please help

(11 Posts)
Dolly2511xx Mon 16-May-16 23:58:24

My ex partner and I agreed he could have our son every otherweekend while my other son from a previous relationship was at his dad's the same weekend! We agreed these as I work the weekend while both boys are at there dad's. My ex has a daughter from a previous relationship neither him or his ex work weekends. My ex has now refused to have our son on weekends unless he has him on the same weekend he has his daughter I have spoken to work and my other sons dad and am unable to change weekends. My family help out with child care and also children are in nursery. My ex is telling me now after refusing to have our son the past weekend that he is taking me to court. I've never stopped access he fails to turn up is going away soon for a week with his other child but does not want our son I feel he threatens me with court but don't believe he would take me to court as I don't think he really wants anything to do with our son. But in case he does would a judge force me to stop working on the weekend and make me swap weekends? Thanks in advance for the advice

SlapACatFuckADuck Tue 17-May-16 00:55:18

I would like to think not. If he doesn't work weekends and you do they'd more than likely order he has him but they can't force him to take him if he doesn't want to though

titchy Tue 17-May-16 08:11:34

No of course a court won't force you to stop work. However it is reasonable for at least some of his contact to be at the same time as he has his dd - she is your child's sibling and it's important he has a relationship with her.

MrsBertBibby Tue 17-May-16 09:23:36

I don't think titchy is necessarily right, this kid has 2 half siblings, and the court can't micromanage all those relationships (plus the sibling bond can't be that important to the dad since he is holidaying with only the half sister. Plus it's important for the kid to have weekend time with his other half sibling.

I would think a judge would prioritise the mum's work needs, bearing in mind that if contact happens on her non work weekends the child will get no weekend time with his mum.

Anyway, believe in this application when you see it, OP.

MrsBertBibby Tue 17-May-16 09:30:23

Sorry, to be clear, I think titchy is quite right about the judge not stopping OP working! Just disagree about the half sister.

titchy Tue 17-May-16 11:00:02

A judge would prioritise the needs of the child. And nothing else. If they really can;t agree, and after mediation a micro-managed schedule is put to a judge it will be OP's responsibility to get the child to contact, regardless of work, and to find childcare if she needs. Contact is for the benefit of the child, not so a parent has free childcare.

This child lives most of the time with his (half) brother - that relationship is already catered for.

Collaborate Tue 17-May-16 13:34:11

titchy - I really must disagree with you. OP has far less scope to be flexible than her ex. If ex gets to swap over the weekends then that child will not see his other half-brother, with whom he has an established relationship. The reasons for that are, firstly, the other father has a valid (nay, identical) reason for wanting to keep arrangements as they are. Secondly, OP's work would mean OP will not see that son from one weekend to the next.

The father (OP's most recent ex) should simply either see his children on alternate weekends, or achieve the far easier task of altering the weekends for that other child.

That is meeting the needs of the relevant child. Not your suggestion.

Afriyie Sat 21-May-16 08:59:48

i received a phone call from the police. he said they were called by a member of staff in waitrose that my son is part of a gang who came to waitrose to shoplift. the police took details search CCTV and concluded he is not part of the gangs. my son went to Sainsbury to look for something to buy for his physics project and came to Waitrose after that.. the manager in Waitrose thinks that he is part of a gang who came to the shop to shoplift because my son left Sainsburys to waitrose soon after they had left to waitros. after searching for the sketch board and couldnt find it, my son went to the manager on duty to ask for a sketch book and the manager said there is none. on his way the manager stopped him because a customer has alert him of the gangs. the manager interrogated my son who is 14yrs with one other staff because he thought that my son was distracting him the manager so that the gangs can run off. after checking the cctv and found nothing but because the manager rang sainsbury and realised they have all been seen there but not togerther the manager then called the police on him.. the police found no connection with the gangs. pls this not defamation? pl what is my childs right here.

prh47bridge Sat 21-May-16 09:54:09

You would be better starting your own thread for this.

I'm not sure where you think there is any defamation. The manager is entitled to call the police and report your son if he suspects your son of a crime. The manager is also entitled to detain your son for questioning for a reasonable amount of time if he has a reasonable suspicion that your son has committed a crime. It is unpleasant when this happens to an innocent person but I can't at the moment see anything in your post that would entitle you or your child to take action against anyone.

Afriyie Sun 22-May-16 07:26:32

Thanks you

Afriyie Sun 22-May-16 07:34:57 a newbie and trying to find my way around.. sorry

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