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(10 Posts)
Danny1988 Fri 22-Apr-16 14:04:07

I am a father to a 5 yr old boy my partner has mental health issues and has been in hospital 3 times and has now decided she wants to leave and take him to another town but i feel he would be better off here do i have any rights

SecretSpy Fri 22-Apr-16 14:09:07

Your child has rights, you have responsibilities. Do you have regular contact at the moment?

Have you been having the child while she was in hospital?

Essentially she's likely to be able to move anywhere she likes but will need to make sure you still continue with contact.

Danny1988 Fri 22-Apr-16 14:12:14

We still live together so i have been with him all the time and why can she move where she wants i have said i will move ouy and she can have the house with him otherwise i will be forced to have full rights for him and i dont want it to come to that

SecretSpy Fri 22-Apr-16 14:16:49

Why can't she move where she wants? Is she ending your relationship? Moving to be near people who can support her like family etc? Are going worried he'll be too far away to visit often?

VoyageOfDad Fri 22-Apr-16 14:34:23

You need to get legal advice.. ( not from a website )

It's possible you can stop her with a Prohibative Steps Order PSO.

If by moving , your son would be leaving behind a good school, strong community etc then there's a case..

Or she could leave the boy with you and move away.

NRDAD Sun 24-Apr-16 15:38:24

First of mate yes you do have a right unlike secretspy tried to say. Court takes whats best for your child into account and your child has a right to relationships with both parents but you also have rights as a father to a part of your childs life but you also have responsability to the kid.

Im dealing with the same kind of thing. My ex gf was the physiclly abusive 1 she self harmed and has some serious mental issues. She currently want to move in with the newest bf about 60 miles away ( i know its not that far) but would destroy my son and i time. I see him 3 days a week but would have to go down to every 2nd weekend ( total disgrace). It also means moving him away from all his family and friends. Its not in his best interest to move she is just being selfish.

i get what ur saying about not wanting to take the children from her. If my ex wasnt planning on moving all i would want is 50/50 ( even tho she wont allow that) because i know my son loves my ex

Its going to be a hard fight mate as courts tend to side with the mother altho they dont always deserve it but if you feel its the best thing for your kid you fight tooth and nail for it never give up. You need to show how staying is in the best interests of your son so you need to show family/friends support close by, educational plans and childcare plans for the future that you have a safe place for them to live and reasonable plans for contact with his mother. Anything else that help show that what is best for your child is to stay. This is the best way to come at it from the angle of whats best for them. If i lose i will be moving where ever she takes my son which will mean giving up the life i have built but its a small sacrefice to be in his life properly Best of luck to you mate wish u well

Secretspy why should she be able to just up and move the child away ? Destroy a fathers relationship? If she wants to move should she not make the sacrifices for it to happen not force it on the child and father ?

lostdad Sun 24-Apr-16 16:48:44

If you have serious concerns you need to take whatever the appropriate action is to protect your son and then deal with legal matters.

His safety and best interests are paramount. If your partner is not able to care for your son you need to do it too.

I strongly advise you do not move out. If you do for any reason whatsoever you will be deemed to have left the family home.

As things stand, assuming you have PR you have an identical legal standing as your partner (neither of you is the `primary carer', etc.) and from a legal position there is no change until one of you moves, makes an application for whatever (occupation order for example).

I suggest you speak to someone as soon as possible. There are many potential legal implications here but there are also very many practical and logistical ones while will make a big difference to the eventual outcome.

I see this sort of situation on a regular basis (I am McKenzie Friend) and many of my clients come to me after this situation has come and gone - you have the opportunity of being ahead of the game for the moment. I urge you to think quickly about what it is you want to achieve in this current situation. If you want some pointers, please post here again or get in touch.

Pisssssedofff Sun 24-Apr-16 18:24:14

You need to step up as the primary carer

Daya123 Tue 03-May-16 15:23:17

Danny1988, you have several options available to you. There is no reason for you to accept your ex moving away with your child. Your rights/ responsibilities as a father would depend on several factors- were you married to your partner, is your name included in the child's birth cert etc. There is no reason for you to move out as well without ensuring the welfare of your son. As a first step you could contact your local Citizen's Advice. I am sure that they can given you a lot of advice. You may also need to seek legal advice at some point. The welfare and safety of your child should be the guiding factor. Good luck.

BlackeyedSusan Tue 03-May-16 16:59:57

If you consider yourself the safest/most consistent parent then get legal advice asap, before you/she makes a decision. consider why him staying with you will be best.

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