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Occupation order coming to an end and he wants to move back in!

(13 Posts)
1234needaname Wed 30-Mar-16 06:14:38

Please help, Domestic violence was a feature of the marriage. It ended when I called the police. it's now over a year. Occupation order due to expire soon, non molestation order expired recently.

I want to divorce. I know he will never consent. All his stuff is still in the house. it's owned jointly. We have no mortgage.

Thanks for any advice.

ForgivenNotForgotten Wed 30-Mar-16 07:41:53

You need legal advice urgently. Try the NCDV helpline, they can give information about this sort of thing. Women's Aid could also help. Good luck!

Collaborate Wed 30-Mar-16 07:47:11

You should have used the 12 months to get the ball rolling on the divorce and sort out the property ownership within the divorce before the 12 months runs out.

You will probably be able to get the order extended for another 12 months, but can't rely on it being repeatedly extended without any effort on either side to resolve the fact that it's jointly owned.

1234needaname Wed 30-Mar-16 10:16:15

I thought I couldn't apply for divorce if it hasn't been two years and he doesn't consent. Solicitor has said unreasonable behaviour route is very expensive. I don't qualify for legal aid.

Our children live with me in the house.

goldierocks Wed 30-Mar-16 10:48:52

Hello OP.....there will be no difference in the court costs between 'unreasonable behaviour' and '2 years separation', the fees involved are identical.

I imagine what your solicitor is referring to is your legal costs if your ex-partner refuses to co-operate. I'm in a similar situation; my ex has a criminal conviction against me. He cannot return to the FMH (court ordered) but I had to wait to file for divorce for other reasons.

I used '2 years separation' but my ex is still being obstructive by refusing to complete the necessary paperwork. My legal fees are over £10k now. I've arranged a payment plan with my solicitor.

The only way to file without your ex's consent is to wait 5 years, i.e. your ex could be just as obstructive regardless of whether you go for unreasonable behaviour or 2 years separation. If I were you, I'd file as soon as you can. If you cite all the instances of unreasonable behaviour it will be very, very difficult/impossible for him to argue against them.

Was your ex convicted of an offence against you? To extend the occupation and non-molestation orders, the court requires evidence that your ex would still pose a threat to you and/or your children. Keep any text messages/emails from him as evidence (if you feel threatened by them). You can apply to have these orders extended separately to any divorce proceedings.

Good luck flowers

Collaborate Wed 30-Mar-16 11:04:06

I agree with goldierocks.

DelphiniumBlue Wed 30-Mar-16 11:13:57

He doesn't need to consent to the divorce, you can submit a petition based on unreasonable behaviour, citing the violence, and the non molestation order. You don't need a solicitor for that.
Speak to the court about service of the petition if you suspect that he won't acknowledge receipt.
There is a process so that if he doesn't sign but you know he has received the paperwork, that service can be deemed. The court can assist you with this. Don't be afraid to ask for their help.

babybarrister Wed 30-Mar-16 17:33:33

Totally agree with Collaborate - to be honest the judge is going to be incredulous that you did not immediately petition for divorce - you had better have a very good explanation as what you have stated you were advised makes no sense at all as it is 2 years separation WITH CONSENT of both parties. So, if he was going to be difficult in any event, then it is incomprehensible why you did not just petition on unreasonable behaviour.

I would be reverting to your lawyer to be honest .....

mamas12 Thu 31-Mar-16 16:05:26

Aw its A bit unfair to have a go at the op when she thought she's been following advice by a professional
I would go and see WA and ask heir help with this as soon as you can

Collaborate Thu 31-Mar-16 21:08:15

WA won't help OP with the legals. May be able to put her in touch with a sympathetic solicitor though.

babybarrister Fri 01-Apr-16 08:46:34

I am not having a go at the OP but at the advice she was given which makes no sense

I agree with Collaborate = this is is a legal issue and she needs a lawyer not WA

ImperfectAlf Sun 03-Apr-16 18:34:11

I agree with baby barrister and collaborate. The court will need some convincing that extending the order is necessary, given that neither side has attempted to resolve the situation. You may find a lawyer is better at that than you. It would be a good idea to talk to women s aid just the same, though, for advice on the other issues.

Bawbles Sun 17-Apr-16 10:46:21

My ex-H threatened the same.

As soon as occupation and non-mol orders were granted I applied for divorce based on unreasonable behaviour. He did not consent, refused to acknowledge. He'd sent me texts relating to the paperwork so I used these as evidence he received the petition and judge ordered that he was deemed as served (can't remember legal terms) and that I was entitled to decree nisi as he hadn't objected.
He would agree finances which meant I didn't have decree absolute before orders expired. He then began talk of coming back to live in house.
I was advised that although he legally was still a joint owner he no longer lived there so couldn't just move back in - plus I could phone police if he behaved in a threatening manner (he always did)
I wrote to him explaining that if he came back I would reapply for the orders and call the police if he was threatening.
In the end it was all bluster and he was just trying to intimidate me.
He agreed finances shortly afterwards, I got the absolute without him ever signing any divorce paperwork and he continues to be a waste of space from a comfortably safe distance

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