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Residency - DC want to live with Dad full time and not Mum now - how does that work legally?

(10 Posts)
BionicEar Wed 23-Mar-16 23:13:20

My DB has (he thinks) shared custody of DC but uncertain if this was agreed as part of court when divorce went through, or just via agreement with solicitors. DC have until now lived with their Mum during week and with DB at weekends and some of school holidays.

Oldest child is now wanting to live full time with DB due to unreasonable and negative behaviour of Mum.

DB uncertain where he stands legally if DC comes to his house and then refuse to go home. He does not think Mum would be in agreement for DC to live full time with him, as DC are seen as "cash cow" in terms of benefits she get from them.

Would he get into trouble with the law if unable to persuade DC to go home?

What steps does he need to take to allow DC to live with him, if Mum refuses to allow him to take on the bulk of residency?

prh47bridge Wed 23-Mar-16 23:35:02

How old are the children?

BionicEar Wed 23-Mar-16 23:40:06

The oldest child is 12 and sibling is 10. It is just the oldest one that want to move in with DB at mo.

Marilynsbigsister Thu 24-Mar-16 00:59:08

At thT age their feelings would be considered by the court . But only if the other parent took it to court.and child simply 'moved in' without agreement.

Lightbulbon Thu 24-Mar-16 02:18:54

The best solution is usually amicable discussion.

Atenco Thu 24-Mar-16 03:31:18

He'd want to think it through carefully, as I have known so many teenagers go from one house to the other as soon as they don't agree with some rule set by the parent of their main place of residence and it doesn't do them any good at all.

BionicEar Thu 24-Mar-16 17:53:17

Atenco I agree it need to be carefully considered in majority of cases but knowing what I know of situation (haven't shared all details on here) I think it can safely be said living with DB would be the better option. It's not simply about disagreement with Mum over rules, more about Mum's negative treatment of DC such as being verbally abusive when asked to turn music down in early hours so they can sleep.

BionicEar Thu 24-Mar-16 17:54:55

Marilynbigsister do you mean if DB took it to court or Mum?

Marilynsbigsister Sun 27-Mar-16 07:30:58

DC can just move in with their parent. If mother does not consent then she will have to make application to the court. Court will listen to child to a degree.

Runner05 Sun 27-Mar-16 08:56:09

I went through this when I was a child.
If the mother makes a fuss and starts court proceedings they will send a social worker to speak with the child. The child will be able to give his reasons and say what he wants. When I saw the social worker I asked if they would send me back and she told me that no one would make me go back if I didn't want to.
After that my parents went into mediation which was basically them bitching at each other by solicitors letter but there was never any risk of my being forced to return, it was all about setting up the new custody arrangement.
As it was my dad saw me once and then cut all contact with me by choice because he decided that I was a liar blah blah blah. To be honest I just wanted to live in a house where I was considered a child instead of the servant/cleaner hmm

As long as you nephew tells the court social worker that he wants to live with his dad everything else will be a formality.

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