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Desperate to progress Divorce - EA H still stalling 4 years on

(4 Posts)
CopperNitrogenTitanium Sun 28-Feb-16 18:45:28

Please, please could some kind person confirm (or deny!) that a Decree Nisi can be applied for before the financial settlements are discussed in detail?

STB (I wish) XH has thrown everything in the way of my trying to escape from his on-going attempts to control and punish me for having the audacity to leave him. It has been four years and thousands of pounds in legal fees, just to try and protect our children from his and his family's abuse, all accrued in response to his applications to the Court and my lawyer responding to his endless lawyer's letters. I will have to self represent in the future due to this debt - just another hurdle to overcome.

I have never denied any contact between him and our children (many emails/texts etc. of mine to confirm this despite my personal better judgement). His MO was to not make any request to me for dates/times in person but rather to go straight to the legal process and have me served with papers at my front door to appear in Court to address whatever the latest bee in his bonnet was.

I feel that if I can push to have the actual divorce process officially started then I may regain some sense of moving on - he will of course fight it every step of the way but I need to respond to a snide letter from his legal team as soon as possible.

I am in Scotland btw (I know this makes a huge difference in Law). Many thanks in advance to anyone that can provide a quick yes/no answer to my above lengthy post!

Fidelia Mon 29-Feb-16 06:48:12

Yes, not only can you start the process and get the decree nisi, you can also get the absolute.... Although being fully divorced does take away your rights to receive a widow's pensio if he died before settling the finances.

My Ex also delayed etc. I gave up and got the absolute. Ex was outraged because he'd believed he could keep me in limbo by not agreeing the finances, thinking I couldn't get the absolute until the finances were agreed.

Actually since then things have moved forwards much faster. I think he has started to accept that he can't control me anymore.

CopperNitrogenTitanium Mon 29-Feb-16 21:52:28

Grateful thanks Fidelia - maybe some light at the end of the tunnel after all.

CopperNitrogenTitanium Tue 01-Mar-16 09:59:50

Limited Internet connection when I posted to your kind reply Fidelia - resulting brevity did not convey my true relief after reading your words. I'm sorry that you have endured a similar experience, they really do make it hard to separate with dignity don't they?

I see that you also recently commented on a thread I am 'watching' and reading - may manage, Internet allowing, to post my own gruesome experience later!

Many thanks again.

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