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abusive ex and custody

(5 Posts)
NRDAD Fri 26-Feb-16 21:58:19

Hithis will prob be abit of a reverse to what your used to hearing and abit complicated

Almost a year a go me and my ex (mother of my son) broke up. We were together for 7 years through out which she would lock me in the house and take the key only Way i could get out would be to force the key from her ( which i wouldnt do because it would mean hurting her) she would kick me slap me some times punch me.i also had plates, ashtrays and glasses thrown at my head.

She also self harmed on and off through the 7 years ( only ever superfical )

i never reported it to the police because i loved her and tried to help her and begged her to get help. which she refused always say it was my fault she done it.

When we first split i could go round and see my son when ever i wanted ( ment i could keep and eye on the situation) but 3 weeks later in a disagreement she throw the fact she had a new boyfriend and had slept with him in my face and thats when she stopped me seeing him whenever. That same week i was diagnosed with cancer ( i have finished treatment end of the 2015) so wasnt in a place to get custody not knowin what would happen to me.

At this point i had 3 1/2 nite then after another argument she took a night away as punishment.

Now shes talking about moving in with her boyfriend who lives 60 miles away taking me down to every second weekend ( im not just worried about my contact it means i cant keep an eye on the situation)

I have txt between us that show her admitting she locked me in, hit me and self harmed. I also hav a txt where she tells me she tried to kill herself which she later said was a lie just to f#$k with me.

If she moves shes also moving away from me soriously changing our contact, all our families so no family support, our sons nursery and his friends he would go to school with ( he starts school end of this year) and is already registered. I ve asked for reasons how it benefits our son all i get is this towns a shithole ( its not its much nicer then where i grew up) and she needs a life too its all about her and her bf. I dont think its whats best for him.

plus im worried that she will treat him like she did me when he grows up ( very controlling personality)

I want to go for full custody but am unsure if i have any hope of getting it ? Will the courts take my worrys seriously or will it be the usual expectations of just man up and deal with it? Do i have any hope ?

EverydaySeemsLikeAWar Sat 27-Feb-16 02:27:06

Courts don't usually like taking children away from their mothers,

I would report all of this to the police with the printed off evidence, you don't have to press charges ( I've done this ) just that you want to make them aware there's been domestic violence

Once you have a log number you'll be able to get free legal aid from a soliciter due to DV

My ex was DV to me, I only reported him twice ( and went in once to make a statement to put on record ) and he only got arrested twice

In all honestly it's very unlikely you'll get full custody but if you don't want her to move away with your son I would also get a residency order ( that's the old name a quick google will tell you the new name ) where she will not be able to take the child.

NRDAD Sat 27-Feb-16 11:07:09

Yes im aware they dont like to take a child from a mother (bias) she had a history of self harming when a teenager and has done it again also DV towards me and can give no reason how this move benefit our son. If this was the other way round i would have the child taken from me and been put on supervised visitation.

She also tried to force more money from me with threats of taking our son and mines time away ( have proof) and took away agreed upon time at xmas (month before we agreed i would have him xmas eve and morning she would have afternoon as her family do a really big meal which i was really happy with. A few days before xmas she told me i wasnt gettin that any more that i could have 2 hours) she is very unstable, selfish and spiteful

Im going to speak to my solicitor on monday concerning this but just wanted some idea of what my chances are

BlackeyedSusan Sun 28-Feb-16 18:12:30

actually I think you will find that it is quite difficult to get contact stopped/supervised contact with either parent. they have to be spectacularly bad for anything to stop contact.

Fourormore Sun 28-Feb-16 18:57:51

The court won't be interested in the self harm unless it was done in front of the child.
She might get a slapped wrist for the Christmas thing if you're lucky.

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