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mediation letter received today

(4 Posts)
mrsdarcey78 Wed 17-Feb-16 13:04:06

Hi I am wondering if you can help me. I was in a relationship and married 14 years (together for 18). In september 2014 after a lot of thought, and after suffering myself and the children with emotional abuse and bullying that relationship ended and we are separated. The children are 17 14 and 8. They tried to see him in December 2014 and that did not work out for them, and they have not seen him since. It is the yearly review of the child maintenance this month and he will have had same letter I did, he basically lied about his wages and will owe about 2500 or so. I had to take him to maintenance as he hadnt paid a penny for over 6 months. I am disabled and the children as disabled too. Today I had a letter from a mediation place. This has made me feel ill. He has obviously done this in a reaction to the maintenance review. I will fight for what the children want and none of them want to see him.They do not even mention him at all. Anyone with experience of this how do we stand and how to proceed? Should I file for divorce as only thing stopping me was he said he would take me to court for access if I did file. Should I get a solicitor for the mediation? Will the childrens ages and wishes be taken into account?. They have only offered mediation 50 miles away. I can't drive and I can't get anywhere. I have panic anxiety and agraphobia. Can anyone help what the best way forward is in all of this?.

JanuaryKat Wed 17-Feb-16 13:07:03

Phone the mediator & ask what it's all about?

prh47bridge Wed 17-Feb-16 16:46:18

You should definitely get divorced.

Your children's wishes would be taken into account in any decisions over contact. Your 17yo is old enough to make up their own mind. It is unlikely the courts would order contact against the wishes of your 14yo. Your 8yo is another matter and it is possible contact would be ordered against their wishes.

HeddaGarbled Wed 17-Feb-16 17:30:10

Write to or phone the mediator and explain that you cannot get to a location 50 miles away because you do not drive and have a disability, anxiety and agoraphobia. Also explain that your ex was abusive so you are not able to be in the same room as him. That will sort out the mediation issue.

It might not be a bad idea to see a solicitor about a possible divorce and contact arrangements for the children. One meeting should be enough to tell you what you need to know and how best to proceed now.

Are you getting any treatment or support for your anxiety and agoraphobia?

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