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Court this month for sexual abuse that happened 20 years ago.

(4 Posts)
Madnson Mon 15-Feb-16 19:55:38

Not sure why I'm posting but wondering if there's anyone who's been through the same.

Contacted last year by the police to ask about a man who my mum had lived with 20 years ago. I had been abused by years by him, so had my little sister. We dealt with the police back then but my mum decided it was best we dropped the allegations for his children's sake (he had tried committing suicide in custody). We did and then she proceeded to take him back. My mum is a poor excuse for a human being.

Feel like it's damaged me more now than it did when I was a child. He's been on remand for 7 months. There's 16 victims in total I'm told. I'm so consumed by this and terrified about court, mainly being cross examined.

So just wondering if anyone has gone through the same and dos it give you closure?

Piffyonarockbun Fri 19-Feb-16 11:14:35

Im sorry youve gone unaswered. Have you had any contact with victim support? They usually have volunteers at court and explain the process and can even arrange tours of the court so its not so much of the unknown.
Ive not been through exactly what you have but 13 years ago i was assaulted. It was reported but nothing was done. 10 years later it went to court as there were futher victims. After burying it for so long i found that all the raking up affectef my mental health more than the original incident and i ended up seeing a psychologist. So i do understand what you mean about it damaging you more now. Please pm me if you need to talk. I dont want to go into what happened to much on a public forum but im happy to advise you via pm if i can flowers

Madnson Fri 19-Feb-16 21:38:46

Piffy thanks for the response. It's nice to know that others haven't gone through this!

Did your mental health improve/go back to normal after the trail? Xx

Piffyonarockbun Sat 20-Feb-16 12:53:34

I needed treatment so it didnt go back to normal on its own. I had weekly EMDR treatment for 3-4 months and by the end of that i felt almost normal again. Most of my symptoms were resolved by the treatment although i do now have anxiety but its controlled by a very small dose of medication. I feel much better and it is behind me now. I mever thought i would get to that point. Mine was slightly complicated by the fact that the trial wasnt the end. There were various enquiries and complaints to be investigated over the way it was handled but it has been resolved now. When i was in the thick of it i thought i would never get over it and never be normal again, it consumed every waking monent. Since the conclusion of the enquiries brought it all to an end however it has been getting less and less important. Now i rarely think about it and if i do its in a more rational way rather than the angry, distressed, hateful way i felt before.

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