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Contact advice desperately needed please

(7 Posts)
Strangeoccurence Mon 25-Jan-16 18:57:09

Ill try and keep this to a minimum.

My 7yo dad sexually assaulted me - its been reported to the police. Children services got in touch with me as our son was in the next room when it happened.
They said that it is my responsibility to ensure that my son is safe when at dads.
I asked if they were advising that i stopped contact and they said they simply couldnt advise me as they were taking no further action. However, they said i was within my rights to stop contact given what had happened and if i felt uncomfortable with contact then it would be ok to not send our son.

This has left me quite confused. Our son didnt want to go for both nights last weekend and stayed with me. Dad was unhappy about this, understandable. But CS said if ds did not want to go then to not force him so i didnt. Ds didnt want to go for the full weekend again (weekend just gone) and so didnt go on the friday. He got told off on the sat off dad and dad told him he is not allowed to sleep at my house on weekends and if he chooses to not go to dads again, dad will be very very angry with him. Now ds thinks he needs to go in order to not upset dad.

I dont know what to do, or how to do it.
I feel if i stop contact, it will go to court and dad will be granted access anyway.
At the same time, CS are telling me it is my responsibility to ensure my sons safety when at dads, and i simply cant do that when i am no there. Ds also come back with what sounds like emotional abuse - so therefore, i have failed what was expected of me.

Its longer than i thought. Its all so complicated and confusing for me. I hope it makes sense

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Mon 25-Jan-16 19:08:41

Can you have a meeting face to face with CA to get advise?

MTPurse Mon 25-Jan-16 19:16:06

Stop contact completely and let your ex take you to court.

You have police records of the rape?
You have Child services involvement?

Once the court application is approved you will be contacted by caffcass who can look into all this and advise the court if it is in the best interest of the child to have contact with his father.

They will interview You, your child and your ex and will put suggestions to the court on what is suitable regarding contact.

MTPurse Mon 25-Jan-16 19:16:32

Sorry, I forgot to ask, is there a court order in place?

Strangeoccurence Mon 25-Jan-16 19:17:09

What is a CA?

Strangeoccurence Mon 25-Jan-16 19:19:10

No there is no court order. It wasnt rape, just sexual assault. I have police records. Children services were informed by the police and had a telephone conversation with me stating what i mentioned in my OP and told me they were taking no further action as it is my responsibility to ensure my son is safe when with dad.

Strangeoccurence Mon 25-Jan-16 20:08:27

If i stop contact and cafcass do get involved, does this mean CS would get involved again, or would cafcass be enough?

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