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Social Services Recommendations for Access - but EX objects, what to do?

(1 Post)
whyorwhy Sat 23-Jan-16 21:40:50

Hello,
I am after an advice.
When SS made a recommendation for access,– is it possible to impose this recommendation via court, especially when children’s wishes were taken into account by the SS ?

As soon as the recommendation was made by SS, because it involved an overnight stay and for my boyfriend to supervise me, ex objected.
I have no family. My BF has a separate property from mine close by.
I lived with children in mine for 6 years, and BF was introduced 3 month after I met him who after work with us, and I am at his when children were with Ex. It is not an economic set up, but BF is aware of the behaviour of my ex, and, too I wanted to maintain continuity for children thus the same place until my youngest to start secondary. I guess my Ex was surprised that the BF will be part of the seen. my BF came found of the children saw them struggling and thriving in things over the few years, few debates there over dinner and he concerned of their future. he said he cannot stand by and see young life are being brainwashed and potentials wasted .

So, my Ex overturned SS recommendation by giving some objections, where none is child safety related etc.. ( children said to SS they liked my BF v much). Instead my Ex suggested a 2 h supervised by SS meetings with on weekends. And now that 2 weeks gone since I saw my DSs, my Ex saying that the TRUE wishes of one DS were not taken into consideration, as he does not want to do overnights. Then he added , he not surprised, after what his mother subjected him to' Anyone who would read this will be of a strong negative opinion of me. Yet, this is just words, and this is the dark side of the EX - he is a master of turning around the thing one men will be embarrassed off into a pros for him.

y ex run in a frenzy to court autumn 2012 - so, end of summer 2013 - court ordered children to live with the mother and access to father. My ex strolled the court proceeding, as I later realised he had 2 x drink driving convictions against him then.

Q 1: Is it worth trying to settled this SS recommendation in court via emergency application? it costs me so much monies every couple years to defend accusations from Ex, who loves public laundry washing and to embarrass his wife's ( 3 times divorced, when I married I though I am his 2nd.!)

As I fear the longer non contact with my children be – it be easier for the EX to manipulate the head of the eldest into being hostile to his mother. The fact that the youngers, 10 year old does not even want to be there - no one listens to it, but what the 12 yo who is under thumb of his father who for years was ' pinkie promise never brake a promise' made the manipulation so real life.

Please could you advice / share experience/ knowledge on what to do please?

More details. My ex made faux allegations to court beginning Dec, following which DSs who always lived with me ( and 6 years after the divorce) being taken away and put with the F (ex). His police records are flourishing, so Ex was determined to make my reputation dirty...

I saw DSs in my home 2h on 24.12 and 2 h on Friday after school 07.01,
so have not seen them for 2 weeks now, as SS recommendations cant be implemented and SW was not in the office for 4 days.
I requested a meeting with SS to help me to see children no matter how brief in interim ( ?). I feel they done there job by issuing the recommendations and then they do s 47 for the hearing and for the following hearing them or cafcass will do s 7..
The first visit on 21. 12 cant even be counted as 2 weeks elapsed since I did not see them and it was in SS offices, then in hostile coffee shop, at request of Ex.

Police takes it's time ' to looking into details', and my CB to report back this week was moved further by 10 days v close to the second child act hearing, which makes me think there be another hearing. this is from 4.12.

To maintain sanity, I am working, going to gym, walking dog, trying to see my friends socially, but OMG this is tough - children were with me 6 years after the divorce and I had to take career sacrifices to be able to pick them up after school and to take them to activities....
Now that they are fun, know how to do each of the boy's sport, in schools orchestra/ musical, daddy wants them back by default.

Any advice - is it: children access asap as per SS?
or..... shall I let this all to run it's course, concentrate on work, pay solicitor's bills.... and accepted that one or both of DSs will be a mini miniature of their dad ( misogynist? giving up mainstream work when wife 7 month pregnant and surviving on yearly re-mortgaging whilst claiming that he is a company director) because he getting away by setting the tone?
brrr...
thank you for reading, apologies, for the length....

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