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Benefit fraud? Getting the blame for what my partner has done ?

(42 Posts)
Monster20 Tue 29-Dec-15 20:47:26

Okay please don't hate on me I am beating myself up more than you would think.

The past year has been a nightmare I had a horrendous very complicated pregnancy. At the start of my pregnancy I had just got a job and hadn't signed off but found out I was pregnant and resigned as I had only started and couldn't take sick leave and my pregnancy was terrible from the get go I was constantly in hospital. My partner and I are on joint income support and I get housing benefit. My partner started working and I begged him to go and inform the social security agency as I didn't want him to do it and I didn't want anything jeopardizing our life with our baby. Problem is I wasn't aware that it was illegal for someone else to use your bank account which all his wages were going into mine as he doesn't have one. So now I am being brought into the SSA for an interview under caution for benefit fraud and I'm being done with 12 months benefit fraud because of my partner. I'm really scared I'm going to lose my home, my 6 week old daughter and that I will be sent to prison as I have worked out that because of him it's looks like a hell of alot of money I will have to pay back. Everyone just keeps saying I won't go to prison but no-one can be sure. I want to pay back immediately and I know I will be taking to court and will be fined but I am really scared I will go to prison because of him and my own stupidity for not standing my ground and making him do it. Thing is though 20 and have a long history of mental health problems and borderline personality disorder and I was so scared of losing my partner because when he's stressed he becomes very snappy and hard to work with. And I was scared he would leave. I was also scared because of my mental health and growing up in care that social services would try take my baby if we split up. I begged and begged my partner to stop working or to tell them and he didn't and now I'm being left to clean up all the mess because I was the main claimant of everything. I don't know what I'm going to do I don't want to lose my daughter but due to the substantial amount of money I feel like its inevitable that I will be put away and he won't have to take the responsibility for it. I am stuck in a rug and don't know what to do I feel like I am in a sick nightmare. I have contacted a solicitor but my appointment isn't til next week can anyone give me any advice ??

LIZS Tue 29-Dec-15 20:56:36

At this stage it is only an interview. It won't be because of the bank account. As joint claimants you are each liable to inform of changes and neither of you did. Is he still your p, has he also been called for interview ? If you can offer to pay back the over payment it may work in your favour.

Monster20 Tue 29-Dec-15 21:01:34

Yes he's still my partner but only I have been called for an interview. I'm going to offer to pay it back I will leave Muslim if I have to I just don't want to jeopardize anything in regards to my daughter and Anno I should have reported it but everytime I brought it up he just went off on one and I hate confrontation. I am really scare can't believe how stupid I have been

LIZS Tue 29-Dec-15 21:10:01

I suspect it won't come to that. Do you know how much the overpayment was?

Monster20 Tue 29-Dec-15 21:13:08

Yea I think I have been payed around 15 thousand

NewLife4Me Tue 29-Dec-15 21:16:50

My dsis did I'm afraid.
Exactly the same story but was tax credit.
She got 18 months and did 12, even though she had a prem baby in SCBU.

Sorry to scare you, but you need a good lawyer I'd hate it to happen to you.
My dsis went through hell with him, until he became her ex.

Please get legal representation now and distance yourself from this man who will gladly see you go down for his fraud.

So sorry you are going through this.

NewLife4Me Tue 29-Dec-15 21:18:36

My dsis owed a few grand and could pay it back, but they wouldn't listen.
At the time they were cracking down on fraud and wanted the prosecuted statistics.

Monster20 Tue 29-Dec-15 21:19:12

I want to go in and tell them the truth and take full responsibility for not informing them but I don't want to take the blame for what he has done.I want to offer to pay it back and have them know that I begged him to stop but then I feel like I'm putting the blame on him even though he was the one that was working. I feel like I have failed as a parent already. I feel stupid to have been manipulated into letting the situation go one. All he keeps saying is that gel take the blame but he doesn't understand that it's not going to get me out of trouble and I'm still going to be held accountable for everything. I just don't understand why he hasn't been called in and ita only me x

NewLife4Me Tue 29-Dec-15 21:24:44

I'm so sorry OP.
I know from my dsis what a position you are in and how hard it must be for you.
Please see that besides the fraud this man is not a good man.
To commit fraud in the first place is surely not what you want in your partner, but to do it knowing full well that he is implicating you is abysmal.

Are they calling you because it is you that has benefitted from the money i.e your account, or because you have signed official documents that identify fraud has been committed.

Have you signed applications for benefits or just not informed of changes?

uggmum Tue 29-Dec-15 21:28:00

You will need to go in and be completely honest in your interview. They will probably have copies of your bank statements already.

Unfortunately you are just as liable. Not only did the funds go into your account but you had access to them.
Therefore they will view that you knew from the outset that you were not entitled to your benefits as you knew about these funds.
You have committed benefit fraud as you should have declared that your partner was working at the outset.

You can take proof of your health issues to your interview. I suspect that they will also interview your partner as he is guilty of the same thing.
You will also need to notify the tax credit people if you claimed these as if they find out later they could prosecute you too.

My dm worked the the dss for 35 years. She was a fraud Officer and later used to prosecute people who committed benefit fraud. She thinks it is unlikely that you'll go to prison due to having a small baby. You could call CAB and they should be able to give you advice on how to deal with this.

AgentProvocateur Tue 29-Dec-15 21:29:42

It's likely that you'll both end up in court for that amount of money, and because it was deliberate. Your partner sound like a nasty piece of work, though, and you'd probably be better off without him once this has been sorted out.

Monster20 Tue 29-Dec-15 21:30:23

My partner has full control of my bank accounts so I don't know what is going in and out and I don't look at my statements which is worse as I have no idea what level of money has been going through my account.

He really is a good man hit stubborn and he would do anything for me and our daughter but I fear he thought he was one of the ones that 'never get caught' I'm not sure it just says that I am being interviewed under caution for employment and my benefits r being investigated. I can't remember any documents I have signed recently. I'm scared that I won't have any proof that the extra money going into my account was his. I don't understand why only I have been called when he is on the claim aswell. I really don't want to go to prison as I won't have anyone to care for my little girl and my partner is a type one unstable diabetic and I don't feel he would cope on his own with her. He has said to me that he knows it's all his fault but hasn't said what's he's going to do about it. X

Monster20 Tue 29-Dec-15 21:37:20

I know I am liable aswell but I want them to know it was never my intention and that was the situation he had put me in. I can't afford this house on my own. Our rent is 550 and my housing benefit only covers 320 of it so I would be homeless with no family to help. I know I will end up in court I am not naive and in no way do I think I won't be prosecuted I know I will but I just don't want a custodial sentence. I will do all the community service and pay fines and I would do anything they tell me to avoid a sentence.

One problem I now have aswell is he has stopped working now and I have only claimed child benefit and haven't received my tax credit form yet as they got lost in post so once my money stops I will only have my 20 pound child benefit to live off. I feel like an idiot.


I hope your mum is right I'm an absolute wreck and I can't afford to fall apart right now

NewLife4Me Tue 29-Dec-15 21:42:37

Monster my love, there is nothing either you or your partner can do about it.
The only people who can are the authorities.
It does sound like you are personally being investigated for working when stating you weren't? Receiving benefit when you shouldn't.

Why don't you take care of your own finances, does your partner have power of attorney to make decisions on your behalf?
It sounds highly suspicious, not to mention naive that you don't have control over your own account.

I may be reading too much into this but your partner doesn't sound good for you and your child. He is dishonest and putting you through this, he can't say it's his fault and it will be alright.
Even if he does if the law sees it as your fault he won't even be interviewed and certainly not implicated.

Are you sure he hasn't known this all along and thought you could carry the can?

NewLife4Me Tue 29-Dec-15 21:48:00

Please don't believe the new baby story it means nothing.
As I said my dsis was for far less than you only a few k.
If they want to put you away they will, even in my dsis case when baby was in scbu.

Legal representation and leaving this man are the only things that will help your future short, mid and long term.

NewLife4Me Tue 29-Dec-15 22:03:03

OP, sorry to keep coming back but am quite concerned about you and think there are other things going on here.
Do you think it wise to have MNHQ move your thread to relationships?
I think you'll get far more responses there and a wide variety.
Sending you hugs x

Whatevva Tue 29-Dec-15 22:49:24

Get your statements together (or get copies) and make an appointment with the CAB to understand what has been going in and out of them.

It is wrong of him to take control of your account, and if he is not doing anything of any substance to help you or to take proper responsibility for what he has done, then you need to talk about this with your solicitor, before you start admitting/taking responsibility for what he has done. You may need to drop him. If thats what it takes. Your baby is more important.

Monster20 Tue 29-Dec-15 23:20:13

No he wouldn't have known as Jedi's plan to do it but he did and he's never been in trouble with the law so knows nothing of how any of it works.

It's an honest reason y i don't and it's because I'm pretty careless I don't budget money well and constantly lose my money and cards so it's safer with him though now the problem is that I don't know what's going in or out as I gave him full access to them.

He really is a good man I have been with him from I was 16 and he has never done this before I just think he really didn't realise the implications of what he has done and after having a chat with him there he has said if he'd known that it would fall on me and that our daughters upbringing could be affected he wouldn't have hesitated to stop.

I think maybe he has panicked about money while I've been pregnant am honestly not sure y he chose not to stop but I think he's too ashamed and afraid now to tell me whether he deliberately didn't go to them or whatnot plans were.

He is just so stupid sometimes . I will never forgive him for putting me in this situation.but I won't leave him as I feel he has a made a mistake that he didn't realise was so serious. I also think that's us arguing and splitting up won't solve anything either as we are going to have to support eachother for the sake of ourselves and our relationship but most importantly our child x

Monster20 Tue 29-Dec-15 23:30:00

I am seeing a solicitor dp has just told me to tell them everything that I told him to stop and tell them everything. He has said that he will take responsibility for his wrong doings but I need to speak to my solicitor first I don't want him making my situation even worse. . It probably sounds like he's controlling but honestly he isn't, I'm normally very head strong but this past year I just haven't had the energy to challenge him or to stand my ground as my pregnancy was horrific and I had an emergency section which I'm still recovering from. It's just that I've been softer than normal with him and let him do what ever to avoid any stress but look where that's got me now

Ughnotagain Tue 29-Dec-15 23:31:01

How has it worked out to be £15k over 12 months? Income Support and £320 a month Housing Benefit wouldn't add up to that. Is it tax credits as well?

Monster20 Tue 29-Dec-15 23:33:31

Income support on a joint claim is 320 every two week aswell so it works out roughly that x

Ughnotagain Tue 29-Dec-15 23:39:33

Ah I see, be about £12.5k then.

Definitely get yourself some legal advice.

I've dealt with people through work who are paying back massive overpayments bit by bit, so it does sometimes work out that way, but it's ultimately going to be down to the powers that be to decide.

Monster20 Tue 29-Dec-15 23:47:26

I know I've put myself in this situation but I'm hoping they let me pay it back and do community service or suspended sentence instead of a custodial one I honestly won't have anyone to look after her as his mother is not fit in my eyes and didn't raise her own kids so won't have mine. And I don't want her going into care like I was

Ughnotagain Tue 29-Dec-15 23:50:29

I really hope it works out for you, I can't imagine how shit this must be. Fingers crossed for you.

Noeuf Tue 29-Dec-15 23:58:39

Was he working cash in hand because otherwise it will be very easy (pay slips) for you to prove whose income it was. However surely the important question will be why you didn't tell them one half of the joint claim was employed? I do think you need advice from CAB or a solicitor. Good luck.

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