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Need Some Advice About Access

(7 Posts)
bushtailadventures Mon 14-Dec-15 20:17:10

Basically, my 9 month old granddaughter's father has never seen her, has in fact denied she is his on more than one occasion. The other day he got in contact with my dd through fb, asking to see them. All fine, we wanted to keep it amicable, so suggested he visit her for an hour, so they could work out what to do. He asked for a picture of dgd, which was duly sent, then he messaged back, saying some nasty stuff, and again denying she is his. We screenshot these messages, btw, although I don't know why, it seemed the right thing to do. Today he tried to add us both on fb, which we both cancelled, I see no reason for us to be manipulated by him, which he has form for in the past.

Having got through all that background, what do we do next? Wait for him to get in contact and tell him to go through the court system? Try and do it all ourselves on an informal basis?

We have no idea, and really do need some advice. TIA

Racmactac Mon 14-Dec-15 20:34:35

He sounds slightly unhinged.

Sit back and do nothing, if he wants contact then let him make application to court. He will have to attend mediation first anyway

bushtailadventures Tue 15-Dec-15 06:08:18

Thank You for the advice! We are obviously going to have to do some research, but properly organised mediation has to be better than us trying to work it out ourselves.

Unhinged is a good description for him, he changes his mind with the weather and the stress is getting to us all sad

Lonecatwithkitten Tue 15-Dec-15 08:04:22

Keep all the messages safe and as others have said wait for him to go to court ( he won't). Grandparents going to court normally only leads to access where they have a relationship with the child previously.

Penfold007 Tue 15-Dec-15 08:21:29

Does your daughter intend to claim child support from him?

bushtailadventures Tue 15-Dec-15 10:01:47

No, no intent to claim child support. DD and granddaughter live with us, and are likely to for the foreseeable future, and we are happy to support her financially as needed, although DD is looking for a job at the moment. Childcare wise, she has us if she needs us, and I like getting dgd on her own occasionally smile

The less we have to do with him the better to be honest. As far as I know he has never worked for very long and exists on benefits. He lives in a shared house/hostel paid for with Housing Benefit if that is relevant at all.

Penfold007 Tue 15-Dec-15 15:53:06

Then as he isn't on the birth certificate so doesn't have parental responsibility just leave it. He may at some point apply to the court for OR but that would mean admitting he was the father.
Just block him on social media, phones and so on.
Your daughter is fortunate to have such supportive parents.

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