For the past 2 years DP has had his children one week on, one week off.
So, effectively the have had 2 homes, 2 bedrooms, 2 wardrobes etc etc - nothing has passed between the homes except homework. They are fully provided for in both homes. And all school fees paid by the parent on the respective week.
DPs exW suddenly decided last weekend, that she is only allowing DP to have them on weekends, her reasons being that she feels it's time to establish a better routine.
The catalyst for this decision was that she asked DP to have them earlier than normal to which DP could not do - he did offer an alternative but was also declined.
She is now offering every Fri am until Sunday pm and states that 3 days a week is still a 50/50 arrangement.
DP sought legal advice and as such advised exW that he would not be having them for the weekend only as doing so would imply he had agreed to her change in the status quo.
DPs solicitor has written to exW saying that as parents they have identical legal status and that the arrangement should remain in place unless another arrangement is agreed or ordered by court.
Sol has suggested mediation, or instructing solicitor to negotiate settlement and in the absence of resolution then courts will have to decide what's in the best interest for the children.
DP does not want to be a weekend dad - the boys have become accustomed to this arrangement over 2 years and DP wants to be involved in all aspects of the boys lives not just fun time daddy on the weekend. Also, wouldn't it be detrimental for the boys never to have any weekend time with their mum?
This is pretty much where we are at the moment but DP is incolsolable at the thought of not seeing his boys and we are both carrying this awful feeling around of emptiness.
Can anyone relate to this kind of scenario and would you kindly offer any advice, guidance?
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Opposing changes to informal contact arrangements
5 replies
PaleBlueDot · 20/11/2015 10:55
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