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Should I?

(3 Posts)
icewind Mon 26-Oct-15 21:25:01

Hi, I am trying to work out if I should finally proceed with going to court to try to settle down the contact arragements with my ex partner about my 2 sons.
A brief history is that since we split up 3-4 years ago I have not been given constant access although for the last 5-6 months I have been having them over for 2 nights every fortnight on a friday and saturday then seeing them on the thursday in between. This though has been constantly affected by her arranging things on my weekend and prioritising them seeing her parents over me.
I am due to see the boys this weekend and have a trip planned however during the weekend her nan was taken very ill. I have tried my best to be supportive and tried to rearrange work to offer to have the kids. Now though I have been told that they are staying with her parents and that it is up to her parents whether I can see the kids. In her words what they say goes. I have offered to pick them up on friday so they can still go away and have been told again that its up to her parents and she has not passed on their contact details to me so as it stands I cannot even message them.
I have PR for both kids and whilst I understand that she is going through a hard time I am surprised that yet again I am left with my contact hanging in the balance when it seems that surely the most helpful thing for the kids is to keep it as normal is possible and also free up her parents to be with her and her nan at this difficult time.
CAB have advised me to go to court and I have been advised before over previous messing around and inconsistent contact to go to court but I must admit I bottled it because I suffer from depression. It feels like such a huge step but one I seem to be headed towards unfortunately.
I have previously gone to mediation twice but both times it has failed and instead she has just before I have had to make the final decision to go to court she has decided I can see the kids again.
I honestly can't understand a legitimate reason why I should be denied the normal contact in this circumstance and given the history of it being constantly changed I feel like things will always keep being like this in terms of having to put up with changes and being shut out of the boys lives if she decides to do it.
Sorry for the long post

cdtaylornats Tue 27-Oct-15 11:51:46

Go to court, get it sorted.

wowfudge Tue 27-Oct-15 21:43:31

I agree - it's not fair that she is doing this and controlling things. And I would ask her for her parents' number.

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