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(7 Posts)
AliciaWalker123 Thu 24-Sep-15 14:26:37

Was looking for some advice my XP has been given a contact sessions with my daughter after not caring for four years, domestic violence and not paying a penny.
He is just doing this to get to me but the courts will not listen and are treating me like a child!
They are saying he seems keen to see her as he's taken me to court but only doing it as he is getting legal aid.
This is making me ill thinking about all the things my daughter is going to go through.
XP is not on the birth certificate as he didn't want anything to do with my daughter. But now I am in a new relationship and getting on with my life he can't stand it and wants to ruin it and the courts are letting him and treating me like the bad one

Really in need of some advice

Thanks x

Bellemere Thu 24-Sep-15 16:14:35

He will only have legal aid if he is a victim of domestic violence. You don't just get it for being on a low income anymore.

What advice are you after?

AliciaWalker123 Thu 24-Sep-15 16:29:51

His reason for getting legal was low income.

I am going to represent myself or get a new lawyer as everything discussed with him felt as though he was my XP lawyer.

I'm really just looking for advice about how to deal with this. I am terrified of my little girls safey and her well being with seeing my XP they say she will grow up with psychological problems if she doesn't see him but what about the effect this will have on her and if he starts the abuse again

bloodyteenagers Thu 24-Sep-15 17:33:01

Legal aid for low income anymore.
If the dv was against you, you are the one eligible for legal aid.

She has the right to see him. If he's doing it for ridiculous reasons he will get fed up.
If you are concerned about her safety you can request supervised contact

Bellemere Thu 24-Sep-15 17:46:12

Was he abusive towards your daughter? Do you have any proof? Did you report it at the time? Are CAFCASS involved? How many hearings have you had?

Not sure what you mean by he got legal aid for low income - are you outside England and Wales? There is no such thing as legal aid in a family case for low income anymore. It's only available if he was the victim of DV as per my post before.

As for dealing with it - emotionally, I'd recommend counselling. It sounds like the court are certain that he is safe enough to take care of your daughter and if you argue that, you run the risk of appearing hostile and that's only going to make things worse for you.

AliciaWalker123 Thu 24-Sep-15 18:02:02

He was never physically abusive but used to say to her when she was a baby that she was ugly and he didn't want her and stuff like that to her face. I'm in Scotland.
That's exactly how I feel they think I'm being hostile which I am not. I provided proof to the court that he had said he wanted her dead and all the police reports of violence but the judge said it doesn't matter it's in the past and had the cheek to say I should of done more to keep him on her life. How do you keep someone who doesn't want to be there?

Collaborate Thu 24-Sep-15 20:01:37

Ah - Scotland. Babybarrister had a thread on (I think) AIBU recently asking Scots lawyers to pop over here to offer advice for people in your situation.

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