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Seeking advice on how to manage my parents' finances after their deaths (also general advice on how to cope)

(4 Posts)
StardustHunter Mon 17-Aug-15 00:21:45

I'm 25 and live with my parents. For a variety of reasons, I have become increasingly concerned about my ability to cope in the future after my parents' deaths. I'm unemployed, diagnosed with ASD and unfortunately am still dependent on my parents in many regards. My parents are in their mid-fifties, but are definitely not what I would call sprightly. They are getting old and have a range of health issues that are likely to become more problematic as they age further. I want to try to prepare myself as best as I can for when the inevitable happens, but I am really struggling with it. I am very close to my parents. I have no family members or friends who I would be able to contact for support when it happens. I understand that when a relative dies there are various matters that need to be taken care of. The most immediate one being what to do about funeral arrangements. I have no experience in that regard and it's very much a taboo subject in the house. How much do funerals typically cost? Are cremations cheaper than burials? My parents aren't religious at all (nor am I) and I have no idea if they would even want a service. I'd prefer not to have one, to be honest.

How are wills executed? I think my dad has one, but my mum doesn't. I think both have life insurance policies. They have indicated that everything they have will be left to me. What will happen with their debts? They have a mortgage but I'm not sure how much they are paying as I haven't seen the paperwork. Would I have to get a solicitor involved to organise everything? I have no idea where I would even begin. I don't have anyone I can ask for advice in real life so thought I'd try MN.

HarrietVane99 Mon 17-Aug-15 00:30:51

I hope you don't have to worry about it for years to come, but you might like to look at the government's advice about what to do when someone dies. (I'm assuming you're in the UK.)

justwondering72 Mon 17-Aug-15 08:12:00

Hello op

Have you talked to your parents at all about this? Are they aware of your fears? Do they have expectations that you will eventually find a job and move out, or that you will likely remain at home for good? In fact, what are your expectations for the future?

If you can all talk openly, your parents could - if they choose - make arrangements and organise their affairs in advance. I think that at the very least, they should both have up to date wills.

RedDaisyRed Mon 17-Aug-15 09:34:47

I would concentrate on different issues. Your parents are likely to be around for about 30 years more.

it is all pretty simple on a death. I did my father's estate. Do make sure they have told you what wills they have made. My parents always sent us copies and told us where financial information was in case of a death. Just ask them.

If they have life insurance then that might be enough to pay off the mortgage. you should also check if they would leave enough after the deaths to have to pay 40% inheritance tax back to the state - we are so so overly taxed in the UK. It's disgusting.

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