Divorce Court

[Procrastination999]

Getting a bit scared. Has anyone ever represented themselves in court for a Financial settlement. My Ex has already filed for Nisi and only went to Mediation for the Forms for Court.

[TaraG23]

I have on a number of occasions. Join the group Self Representing in Court on Facebook. Someone there may be able to help you through. I am a McKenzie Friend and accompany people to court hearings that are un-represented. It's often helpful to have someone with you to help present your case, even though MKF are not lawyers and can't speak for you, they can write notes and whisper to you.

[Joy5]

I represented myself at all three Hearings last year. Didn't have a McKenzie friend as realised no one would know my case like myself, but have heard other people praise them.

I'm on such a low income, i couldn't afford one anyway.

Found this site to be a massive help, and also wikiorvce.com Posting for specific help at each stage also helped. I could only deal with each step as it happened.

Found a book 'Family courts without a lawyer : a handbook for litigants in person' by Lucy Reed to be really helpful and it explained all the stages in the court process. Its expensive to buy but my local library had a copy, and i also found my local uni library useful. I was allowed to access the Law library and use the books for reference so worth checking if you live near a uni.

[Procrastination999]

Many thanks will look into that. Just got a bit scared as I spoke to the Mediator and asked in her opinion if I needed to get a Barrister, don't have the money and any money from the house need it to house my two girls. She said I should check with solicitor but in her opinion I should get a barrister and pay as much as I can for one. My ex is a bully and very forceful to deal with. Thinking maybe that's why she might have said that. She said in court its all about case law and I might be out of my depth.

[TaraG23]

I would disagree with your mediator. In all the cases I have attended, either as a McKenzie Friend or a ligigant-in-person with an ex who was a controlling bully, not once has case law been cited. Each case is different and what I have found, is that it is usually down the whichever judge you are appointed.Nobody knows the case better than you do.

[Saira007]

Hello,need your advice and suggestion.
I am married and my husband has deprived me of any physical relationship since our marriage, as he migrated to UK after marriage he always threatened me that he would press charges against me.
I have recently found out that he has become a regular visiting hookers and also having wanting to have a relationship with a collegue at wrk due to which he was made redundant he gave me a different from reason for redundancy though I also found that he has been chatting with few girls who I know like on text and phone.I am tired of this non commitment from him he blames all his failure is due to me when I confronted he said he is not having g sex with the girls I know but is denitely seeing h* to ignite a physical relationship between us.I just want a divorce I think I am done with his lame excuses.

[BeccaMumsnet]

Hi Saira007 - we'd suggest starting a thread in Relationships so you can get the best advice.

[TaraG23]

Saira007 Has your marriage been consumated? It may be easier than you think to get a divorce if it hasn't.

[Procrastination999]

Thank you. Can you explain the process of the three hearings and at what stage do you think I need to call in a Barrister. Also can i do that or do I need to take one on for all the hearings? I would have to borrow the money and I am terrified to be in so much debt. I dont have the money I know my ex will have a Barrister and he says he will destroy me in court. The only argument is over the house. I have said for it to be split 50/50 after 30 years of marriage but he wants more.

[RedDaisyRed]

P you can hire a barrister for any stage, all, one or no hearings - entirely up to you.

My husband got 60% but I earn a lot more (very unusual). Why does yours think he is entitled to more than 50%?

[Procrastination999]

Hes on DLA and has poor health although I dont earn much more than he gets in benefit around £400 more. I am a pensioner so will not work for much longer. He is claiming money put in to the house during the marriage. Plus he wants to claim back money he gave into household from his benefit money and has said i defrauded it etc. He has mental health issues and has a barrister to represent him who must be saying he has a good case.

[RedDaisyRed]

I don't think he stands much chance of getting more than half to be honest. What does he mean by defrauded? What does he say you did?

[Procrastination999]

He freely paid his benefit money to me to help with household finance and the children. He says I did not care for him so I took the money fraudulently and he is claiming it as part of the divorce settlement. He tried to accuse me of neglect but SS decided there was no case to answer. Its all been a nightmare

[RedDaisyRed]

Are your daughters over 18? if so then it is probably likely you will each receive 50% of the assets/house.

[Procrastination999]

Yes they are. I am ok with 50%. Dont want to argue, he says he wants to 'punish me' and hes doing a good job, but i dont want less than half. Both children at home but as they are over 18 he will not make any exceptions for them.

[RedDaisyRed]

If your daughters were little you might have been able to keep more of the house but probably 50/50 will be a fair split.