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Where do I stand as not on the mortgage?

(20 Posts)
airhostess Thu 25-Jun-15 22:09:50

I've been with my partner for 8 years and we have two young children. I'm a SAHM and not on the mortgage.
Where do I stand if he were to leave me? Do I have any claim whatsoever?
Thank you in advance?

Paddingtonthebear Thu 25-Jun-15 22:11:56

Are you married to him?

MinesAPintOfTea Thu 25-Jun-15 22:12:06

Are you married?

airhostess Thu 25-Jun-15 22:12:46

No not married x

Paddingtonthebear Thu 25-Jun-15 22:13:07

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 Thu 25-Jun-15 22:15:52

Frankly, you're fucked. If the house is in his name only, and you don't contribute financially (or can't prove it even if you do), you have zero claim and can be turfed out at a moments notice. You've got less status than a lodger.

Paddingtonthebear Thu 25-Jun-15 22:17:28

If you are married but not on the mortgage you still have home rights and can stay in the home. If unmarried and not on mortgage you have no rights but if you have children you can go to court to ask to be allowed to stay in the home for a fixed amount of time

airhostess Thu 25-Jun-15 22:18:37

What can I do to get me more security whilst we are together? Apart from get married as he's never asked.

Paddingtonthebear Thu 25-Jun-15 22:21:44

Get on the mortgage
Get married

MinesAPintOfTea Thu 25-Jun-15 22:23:02

You can start paying or ask him to marry you. If he doesn't want to offer you the security of marriage I strongly suggest you start getting a plan to get back into work, because you shouldn't rely on someone who doesn't want to give you security.

airhostess Thu 25-Jun-15 22:23:10

Ok, just another....
He told me when he applied for his latest mortgage that the bank would lend him less money as I don't work if I was to go on the mortgage. It was with Nationwide. Is this something that you've heard of?

Paddingtonthebear Thu 25-Jun-15 22:27:33

Have a look at this

MinesAPintOfTea Thu 25-Jun-15 22:27:44

Its true, but not by a large amount. DH put me on the mortgage anyway.

What happens ife he dies?

Rangirl Thu 25-Jun-15 22:29:47

You need to discuss things with your partner to get things on a proper footing As you are not married you are in a very precarious position if you split or if he died You have 2 children with him you should not need to hang about waiting on him to ask you to marry him You could marry ,doesn't have to be a big bash Or he could transfer half house to you Has he made a will For info of Scottish mms the position is different in Scotland winkwhere co habitees have Skightly more rights

airhostess Thu 25-Jun-15 22:45:30

Thanks for all the advice. I've told him he needs to sort out the financial legal stuff incase he pops it the other day. Just interesting to see how f##ked I really am!

Blu Thu 25-Jun-15 22:45:46

You don't need him to ask you - discuss it with him?

How much you borrow / can get in the mortgage shouldn't be his only consideration. looking after all of you, as a family unit, should be your joint consideration.

Is he loving, supportive and does he recognise what you do as a SAHM as being an equal part of the team that round your household and looks after your children? If so explain o him that you need that equality recognised in equal security and therefore you need to be married.

if he objects, I would wonder about his commitment towards you. Tell him hat if he will not marry you or put you on the mortgage and deeds of the house then you need to go out to work buy your own property and that he will need to undertake 50% of the childcare and household responsibilities

Did you pay towards the mortgage before you had kids?

hotlikeme Thu 25-Jun-15 22:52:43

You don't necessarily have to be on the mortgage. I had a deed of trust drawn up which gave me the same legal rights as I would have had as a wife.

airhostess Thu 25-Jun-15 22:55:06

Hi, a year after we met I moved into his property and paid him rent every month as I worked at that time. The last payment was 4 years ago though

hotlikeme Thu 25-Jun-15 23:01:23

If you have a good relationship with your partner then I would suggest that you have a chat with him about making sure that you have security for you and your children.

LotusLight Sat 27-Jun-15 12:20:45

There is no way I would let a live in partner have any of my assets or the house which is why many of us choose not to marry so do be aware of the big issues here.

My suggestion is outearn the man! i earned 10x what my children's father earned. If you earn your own money and work full time you protect and keep your children housed. It is never a good thing to rely on live in lovers to keep you and house you particularly if they are financially savvy enough not to marry you.

If he leaves you or asks you to leave and he keeps the children you would be obliged to pay child support from your earnings if the children stayed with him (although more likely you would take them). Sometimes the Children Act (assuming you are in England not scotland) can help an unmarried person ensure the children are housed so it would be worth seeing a solicitor.

If there is not much equity in the house and he earns say £25k and you earn nothing but provide about £25k of cleaning, house keeping, childcare services then it is probably fair that the house should be in joint names if you can persuade him. If instead he came to the relationship with assets of £100k and you nothing and he wants you to work but you won't and he'd pay half the childcare costs etc then it might be perfectly fair that you don't have a share of the house.

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