Prohibited steps order against me

[IKnitSoIDontKill]

Today I received paperwork from the court telling my my ex husband has applied for an emergency prohibited steps order to prevent me from moving with our 3 year old daughter.

I have been offered a job in the Isle of Man following a long application process- jobs are allocated nationally only once a year so I have to take it, that's just how it works. I've just finished training, so need this job. I have kept my ex updated with the applications the whole way through and he had seemed supportive- I assured him that I would enable contact, organise and pay for all travel (it's a 20 minute flight), and that he would be able to see dd as much as possible. I believed I had his consent- he has said to me both verbally and by email that 'he's willing to be flexible and he's sure we'll make it work'.

He currently sees dd every other weekend and 2 nights midweek every other week, so 4 days per 14. I was proposing he has her for one long weekend or one week out of 4, so still 4 days out of 14 when we move. I've endlessly tried to encourage him to see dd more, or to contact her by phone or skype, but he's always 'too busy'.

There's a hearing on Wednesday, I only got the paperwork at 2pm today (our post is always late). I'm not even sure I can get a solicitor's appointment by then. I can't afford one anyway- we have literally no money, we paid the deposit for the movers with the last of our savings. We're also due to go on holiday in 9 days, which I am sure has something to do with his timing.

I honestly have no idea where to go from here? Can he stop us from moving at this stage? He's known about this since March! We went to the CAB this afternoon who are trying to get us a solicitor's appointment but I am in such a panic.

[honeysucklejasmine]

I'd be printing off emails and texts between the two of you, involving your move or you suggesting contact that he turned down.

[Collaborate]

I agree. Take 3 copies of everything you want to show the judge. Paint the picture you've painted in your opening post.

[Poppies26]

I agree print of all conversations and show a concrete plan of how u are going to facilitate contact in the future. Also demonstrate how this job will be better financial emotionally and socially for u and ur child. Show schooling or nursery or childcare plans. Plans on where u will live.

[Poppies26]

U can represent urself u do not need a solicitor. Just present the facts and do not become emotional. Good luck

[worridmum]

but what you are offering will not be feasible once your child reaches school age.... because unless I dont understand the Island of Man school system I do not think they operate on a 3 week term ....

I think a fair option would be the long weekend every other week (since its only a 20 min flight tho might get very expesive for you quickly) or giving him far more time in the summer / school holidays.

The judge will examine the logitics of what your offering but they will take into account wether what your offering is actully suitable as a 1 week in 4 is not possible once they reach school age etc

But I second what everyone is saying about taking copys of everything and good luck with everything

[titchy]

Suggest something that works for when she's at school too, so 8 days a month. One long weekend and one normal weekend gives you six days, so you could offer the extra two days over the next available school holiday maybe?

[IKnitSoIDontKill]

Thanks everyone. I'm collecting all the emails now and writing a timeline of all the details of what happened when.
I'll have to work out a proper contact proposal- at the moment we keep things fairly flexible so I thought we would just be able to change things as needed to fit around work/school etc. I didn't expect to have to present things in court.

[throwingpebbles]

You should be able to get a solicitors appointment at short notice, they will be used to things having to be done urgently. Look on the law society website or try resolution (family lawyers association) or ask around friends etc for recommendations