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Divorced and moving back home with DC

(4 Posts)
NoMoreMrRight Tue 16-Jun-15 10:27:57

I have four DC (three of them of preeschool age) and divorced three years ago. XH pays child maintenance for them which, although not a great amount if helps me keep barely afloat each month as I'm unable to work (crazy high childcare costs which wouldn't be covered by my salary). He's been inconsistent with his payments many times which has ended up with me going under an IVA as I ran out quite high credit card bills and loans just trying to make meets end.

Now, I live in London but I'm not from the UK (EU country). I have no family here, zero support network which makes my life incredibly stressful as XH doesn't do anything for DC other than having them four nights every month. He keeps threading saying that he's going to stop working so he doesn't have to pay any more child maintenance; he's self employed and on a job in which is very easy to hide any earnings.

My question is ..... how easy from a legal point of view would be for me to move back to my home country, where I would have family support, built in childcare with DC's grandparents (or at the least for a 10th of the cost in the UK) as well as easier to find a job for me? What would the process entail and how long would it take? How much is it likely to cost in legal fees? (I can see him contesting it; he currently only sees them alternate weekends for two nights as well as two weeks in the summer holidays).

I really don't want to uproot them (especially eldest, he's 13) but I might have no choice if he stops paying child maintenance as I need to provide a roof under their heads...

NoMoreMrRight Tue 16-Jun-15 10:28:43


Collaborate Tue 16-Jun-15 13:02:05

It depends on how far away the country is, and whether it's a signatory to the Hague Convention. What country is it?

You apply to court for a Specific Issue order if things can't be agreed, but you must give mediation a go first.

worridmum Tue 16-Jun-15 17:48:27

Just be warned it could be costly if he decides to fight you over it / does not give his permission and you could also be footed with the bill to maintain access (aka paying for all children to come back to the UK or something similear)

But please please dont just take the children and return to your own nation as you could get reported for child apduction / removing from court jurstiction and they being returned to the UK and custordy given to their father.

I cannot give you the exact figure or even time frame but I have known cases taking upto 2 years or more to sort out (but that was to New Zealand) but i doubt it will be a quick process if he does contest it and be aware that your 13 year old could decide to live with his father if he does not want to leave the UK as at that age the court takes the opinion of the child / children into account (if his father wants to house him full time that is)

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