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Power of attorney help please

(11 Posts)
Msdj Sat 03-Jan-15 22:36:41

My dad remarried a while ago. They are both in their 70s. My step mother doesn't particularly like me. She has two children. I am an only child. They told me that they have set up a joint will and given her daughter (who is 7 years younger than me) power of attorney. If anything happens to her. Myself and her brother are joint power of attorneys. I am upset and hurt. Why couldn't we three have power of attorney together. Is that possible? Also if anything happened to his wife and my dad got dementia or such like. Would her daughter say what to do with him etc without my permission or consultation! It just feels wrong that she could do that. He isn't her dad. He is mine. I should make those decisions

BCBG Sat 03-Jan-15 22:44:33

Someone with more info will be along, I am sure, but I hold my DF's POA - basically your DF and SM have made a joint will which is very common, meaning that everything passes between them first, before any bequests. In addition, the daughter has a POA over what? Health and Welfare, Financial Affairs or bother. In favour of your Sm or both pf them? I am not sure what you mean by 'myself and her brother are joint POA' - are you named on the document? Bottom line is that you need to clarify whether your father has given the daughter POA over his own personal affairs or just her mother. He is of course entitled to appoint anyone he chooses but I can totally understand your hurt if you are not involved. Can you explain a little more?

BCBG Sat 03-Jan-15 22:46:05

Sorry for typos - I mean that there are two sorts of POA, and as far as I know they need to be made individually by each spouse.

hatgirl Sat 03-Jan-15 22:48:01

Well it depends on if it is just POA for finances or for finance AND health and welfare.

SophieBarringtonWard Sat 03-Jan-15 22:49:28

You don't declare POA in a will, it's a separate process. So you & the brother can't be down to 'inherit' POA if the sister pre deceases.

SophieBarringtonWard Sat 03-Jan-15 22:50:15

You can have more than one POA btw, my DH and SIL both hold POA for his parents.

Msdj Sat 03-Jan-15 22:50:50

I am not sure whether it's over health or money. I assumed both and for both step mother and my dad. Step mothers daughter is first and then myself and step mothers son are joint second. If that makes sense. I am apparently being sent some paperwork to sign from the solicitor. Just seems wrong that someone who isn't family can dictate what medical treatment and or old peoples home to put my dad in. Should it come to that

Msdj Sat 03-Jan-15 22:54:04

All I know is what I have told you. My dad and step mother came to my house today and that is what they told me. That her daughter is first and me and her son are joint second. I guess I should wait for the paperwork. I am just a bit upset. Although I shouldn't be really. It's the way it has been ever since they married

ClashCityRocker Sat 03-Jan-15 22:55:36

Is there a practical reason for it? I'm poa for both my parents (and I have siblings) and an aunt who has her own children. My parents and aunt asked me because they believed I would be more capable than my other siblings/cousins due to my profession and previous experience and the rest of them, lovely as they are, couldn't organise a pissup in a brewery

Msdj Sat 03-Jan-15 23:02:57

My step mothers daughter is a nurse of some sort. I guess that would be the only reason. She is younger than her brother and myself. Has children like myself. Is married like myself. But she is also very close to her mum. Think that's really why. Don't think my dad would have had much of a say in it all

Mumblechum1 Sun 04-Jan-15 10:11:45

I'm a willwriter and also do lots of Lasting Powers of Attorney. PPs are correct, there are two types of LPA, one for Property and Financial Affairs and one for Health and Welfare.

In the circumstances, I would expect your father to appoint his wife as his Attorney, failing which you and your brother would be Replacement Attorneys jointly. I would expect his wife to appoint your father to be Attorney with her daughter as Replacement.

You are going to have to tell your father how you feel, and as you have to consent to be named as Attorney, whether primary or replacement, you don't have to sign anything you aren't comfortable about, although you can't of course make him appoint you higher in the rankings than your stepsister.

It sounds as though your father may just be going along with this to keep the peace but I agree with you that you and your brother ought to have LPA before your stepsister but after your father's wife.

I'm also slightly concerned that they seem to have made mirror wills to each other on the presumption that the survivor won't make a new will (or remarry which revokes an existing will) which would have the effect of cutting out the children from the first marriage on either side. I normally advise clients in stepfamilies to consider making life interest trusts which ringfence at least each spouse's share in the home for their children.

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