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Intimidated and bullied by neighbour, help please

(23 Posts)
saveahorserideacowboy Fri 02-Jan-15 21:04:37

Hi there I shall try to keep this brief.

My parents live in a small village, my mum and I share a couple of horses which we keep on my parent's land (I live in same village down the road). There is a side country track/road just off from main road which leads to our friends house (and fields which we ride in) and friend also has horses. To get to friends house you ride past 2 other houses - another is a friends house also with ponies and the other belongs to a couple who moved to village approx 4 years ago. This track is not a public right of way or bride way but we have the express permission of the 2 friends to ride along it and when checked this is enough to grant us permission. Now we do not have to ride on this track but it is safer as off the main road (particularly with child on pony) and for when we meet friend or ride in her fields.

The couple in the 3rd house are causing big problems. The man let's call him Pete is well known in the area for driving very very fast. He has on several occasions actually Sped up when passing me on horseback on the road. He revs and is generally an idiot. I have heard of a drama with him pulling a huntsmen off his horse but do not have the facts. If I see him coming I will do my best to get off the road into a gateway. He has not passed me when leading my daughter out on her pony so do not know if he would do this to a child but tbh I suspect he would. He has shouted at my mum from the bus stop that he hopes she falls off and other ridiculous comments to that effect.

When we ride along the track (and at the most this is currently once a week) and he is around he will do his best to try and spook the horse. This previously was slamming doors, starting machines etc as horse just going past but over the summer this escalated to throwing ladders out of doors and other similar things. One time we passed luckily just leading a sensible horse past and he reversed a truck and trailer towards us at speed and we had to get out the way pretty damn quick.

The last few times my mum has gone past it has escalated further. He started throwing things around and my Mum tried to speak to him to explain that the more banged around the longer she would be outside his house as the horse will prat about. If she could just walk past she would be gone much faster. He shouted she was a fucking stuck up bitch and repeatedly told her to fuck off. We have previously been unable to speak to him and he will not respond or come close enough.
Last week she had to lead a horse that way to friends house. He started throwing bricks about in the garden. Mum said very calmly that we have permission to come past here, what exactly are you trying to achieve apart from an accident. He then threw stones at her and the horse but just not quite close enough to hit. Mum got her phone out at this point and said I am filming you and reporting this to the police. He stopped but said I will stop you coming past here and next time watch out for the glass!!!! Mum was very shaken. He is a huge bloke and an ex bouncer. A neighbour who used to work with him advised my dad and husband not to go round to speak to him as he is very aggressive and you cannot reason with him.

What do we do? Police have been informed but cannot do anything apparently. We will avoid the track but I refuse to be intimidated by him and never ride to friend's house. My main concern is passing him on the roads now. He obviously has a huge problem with horses for an unknown reason. I worry most about taking my daughter out and passing him. We are logging all incidents and our next thoughts were a helmet cam to film everything and warning him (via letter?) that we have it.
Any advice very welcome.

JeffVaderRunsTheDeathStar Fri 02-Jan-15 21:13:22

How can the police not do anything?

saveahorserideacowboy Fri 02-Jan-15 21:19:51

They said as it stands there is no evidence and our word against his. As he has not actually hurt anyone or a horse or caused an accident (yet). They said to record everything we can.

sebsmummy1 Fri 02-Jan-15 21:24:40

Helmet cam is an excellent idea!! Do it, log every incident and take that evidence to the police.

Jux Fri 02-Jan-15 21:30:30

Blimey, what a twat. Even my dh will slow down and be careful round horses, and he can be a bit of a boy racer and doesn't like animals much.

I'm so sorry you are all being subjected to this. I don't understand why the police can't do anything though. This sort of belligerence and bullying can surely be acted upon. Note everything with dates and times. A helmet cam is a good idea, even if you don't inform him, though it can't be used in Court as evidence I think it would give corroboration. I know that that sort of evidence is sufficient in dv, and this is very similar sort of behaviour.

I'm not a legal bod so I hope you get some knowledgeable responses.

scratchandsniff Fri 02-Jan-15 21:35:36

There really are some ignorant wankers out there! What an utter arsehole.

I would definitely get a helmet can and log every incident in a diary.

saveahorserideacowboy Fri 02-Jan-15 21:47:35

Just to add there have been more incidents but this was just a general overview. Whilst we are recording everything in log book my biggest concern is safety at the moment. The idea of informing him about the helmet cam was to hopefully deter him especially on the roads. The neighbour who worked with him basically told my husband to stay the hell away from him for our own safety. I just refuse to be bullied in a village my family have lived in for 40 years and ridden up that track for the same. I don't know how to deal with him, he is doing everything he can to intimidate and scare us from riding our horses near his house and enjoys being a bully. I don't know how far he will go - he is deliberately trying to cause an accident. If we stop going down the track altogether not only has he won but I worry what he may do if other riders go past who are not expecting him. And we cannot get anywhere without riding on the road so chances are we will pass him.
Why move to the country if you detest the sight of horses so much!

Jux Fri 02-Jan-15 22:26:00

This friend of yourwho used to work with him. Does he know of anyone whom this guy respects and would listen to? You could ask your friend to have a word with Respected Person so that Respected Person then explains the reality and danger of spooking a horse. It's a bit of a long way round though.

Do you have a community policeman? They can be very good in this sort of situation. Also local councillors.

saveahorserideacowboy Fri 02-Jan-15 22:39:49

I was thinking of speaking the guy who knows him myself actually -It is a possibility he may know someone and no harm in asking.

The flaw in that though is that I think 'Pete' is actually very aware of the dangers of spooking a horse. He has seen our horses freak out when he has spooked them with ladders etc. He deliberately trying to cause an accident or at least it seems that way. He has shouted he hopes mum falls off from the side of the main road. He threw stones at her and threatened her with glass. I think we need to ring police back actually, and ask for something more from them - writing it all down on here makes me realise this is bloody serious behaviour. When Mum told him she was going to film him and inform police he actually shouted you get the fucking police bitch. No community policeman.
I just don't know what will make him stop. Does he actually want to see one of us fall off and get seriously hurt? Or the horse? I can't risk taking my daughter out on her pony at the moment further than 2 mins up the road.

It is taking all my strength not to walk round there and let absolute rip but I know it wont get me anywhere.

TooMuchCantBreathe Sat 03-Jan-15 00:05:19

Have you seen those new tabards with cameras? They are hi viz with large words to the effect of "I am filming" and two cameras. One for the front of your helmet and one to go either on the back or on the horses tail on a tail bandage.

So long as you are advertising you are filming it's fine. Don't write to him because he could claim you are targeting him personally. Please start filming asap and keep on at the police, sadly the law can be strange. It's quite possible that you could be held responsible if your spooked horse causes an accident - even if his antics caused it to spook in the first place. confused

Jux Sat 03-Jan-15 18:28:13

You can write to the local paper too, just a nice general letter reminding everyone of the danger of spooking horses. Maybe they would do an article on it, not him and his behaviour particularly, but a general one about best rides for horses or something, and then very innocently take the reporter past his house so they see his behaviour themself. If the reporter's a rider they'll be horrified.

I'm just trying to think of ways to shame him in his own community and to encourage people around him, who know him socially, to have the courage to tell him it's not on.

I just feel sorry for his partner (assuming he has one) who probably has to live with a lot of that sort of shit from him.

NetworkGuy Sun 04-Jan-15 05:29:03

very innocently take the reporter past his house so they see his behaviour themself.

I think that rather than try the "playing innocent" approach, it would be better to warn the reporter, that you may get a demonstration of hostility when you pass this particular house.

It would be awful,and do the OP no good to give the impression it was unexpected, (a) if the horse happened to move away from the man and knock into the reporter, or (b) if the idiot b'stard shouted "Oh not you again 'saveahorserideacowboy', I thought I made it clear not to come along here any more"

It would be better to tell the reporter "this man is the type who should not live in an area where he drives past horses, as he has no commonsense and goes out of his way to frighten - he has thrown stones and <quote what he said to OP's Mum>" just so reporter can be completely sure that he's a maniac and then decide whether they risk taking photos.

In a way that would be ideal - as the reporter would not hesitate to report being threatened to police (should that happen) and it would be 2 reports giving the same information against the idiot b'stard saying he didn't, along with photographic evidence. (Might be best to use an old cheap PAYG to get the photos with, not the OP's main phone, nor the reporter's, in case the man attempts to steal or break the phone. Phone can be lent to reporter {as OP will be handling horse} and if man tries to grab the phone, then clear threat to people {let alone horses, which we already know}.)

It's worth considering, but not without risk, and as I say, trying to suggest it a coincidence that some anti-horse idiot happens to come out while with the reporter could do OP more harm than good. Reporter could be at risk and OP would have been negligent by not explaining that risk, if OP tries this "act innocent" method of conning reporter into seeing idiot reaction first hand.

Think method has lots of merit but it might be worth being open about having "a prime example of someone unwilling to share the roads with horses, a danger to himself, any passengers, and other road users" so the paper can either "bite" and use it in a week where other news is quiet, or to appeal to rural readership (if they're usually covering drunks in town, etc), or not.

I don't think it fair to put a reporter and perhaps a photographer "at risk" without warning them first. If that sounds over dramatic, then take it as such, because I feel that's how it would sound if there was anyone hurt.

AmantesSuntAmentes Sun 04-Jan-15 05:43:35

Recordings can be heard/seen by a court under the direction of a judge but not by any other third party.

A helmet camera is a very good idea.

The police aren't doing enough, IMO. Have your friends who live near to him witnessed any of this behaviour?

Cauliflowersneeze1 Sun 04-Jan-15 13:29:20

Fuck me , has he any idea how dangerous a spooked horse can be ???

I'd ring the police again , it's attempted assault I would think and get the camera

Does he do this to anyone else , dog walkers etc , also has he got a partner you can approach

I'd be very worried

Jux Sun 04-Jan-15 16:58:57

Fair enough, NetworkGuy. You're right, much better and safer to be open with the reporter.

Roussette Sun 04-Jan-15 17:20:26

Surely someone lobbing bricks at another person IS an offence? I know you said he was only doing it to frighten your Mum's horse but as far as the Police surely she could say "the bricks only missed me by inches...."

Sounds awful, spooked horses are very dangerous and what if it was to bolt into the road causing a traffic accident - can't you say to Police that has nearly happened to spur them on to some action?

OnGoldenPond Mon 05-Jan-15 22:35:32

I'm pretty sure you would not need to tell him you are filming in order for the footage to be admissible in court.

We were subjected to repeated window smashing in the middle of the night. We set up a hidden camera and used the footage as evidence in court. He was convicted.

TooMuchCantBreathe Tue 06-Jan-15 06:52:17

Filming on your own property is a different thing golden. The op would be filming in public and on private property

VioletandRoger Tue 06-Jan-15 07:02:08

Record him using your phone. Gather evidence

VioletandRoger Tue 06-Jan-15 07:03:09

Camera helmet is a great idea

VivaLeBeaver Tue 06-Jan-15 07:08:20

I would ring the police again.

Surely the majority of crimes are one persons word against another's with no evidence? Or a lot anyway. Tell the police you're not expecting him to be charged but that you would like an officer to speak to him to ask him to stop it. Throwing bricks in his garden might not be a crime but dangerous driving is. Get a helmet cam as well.

VivaLeBeaver Tue 06-Jan-15 07:09:53

And if you get no luck keep taking it higher. Sargent, inspector, etc.

madwomanacrosstheroad Tue 06-Jan-15 07:52:48

We had years of intimidation by a neighbour. Film is not always admissible and frequently not of high enough quality. That's if it ever makes it to court. Often you have to take it to court under private law, in your case as he bangs about makes noise on his own land you will need to prove he does it to spooke your horses and not because he does some work. The police is not likely to do a lot.
We ended up moving because our children could not leave the house safely. We did try to go down every other route.

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