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Malicious Communications

(12 Posts)
temporarynamechangeforthis Thu 11-Dec-14 00:30:21

I am a regular but have name changed for this. I have tonight been asked by the police to attend an interview under caution next week due to a complaint of malicious communications by my extremely vile STBXH. I would not say that any of my communications were "malicious" but I did call him the C word for stopping maintenance but taunting me with giving me £10 for a pair of shoes for our DS (who I might add, is autistic). Recent communications have been angry, indeed, due to discovering extensive and long term infidelity, even during my pregnancy and the possibility that he has fathered a child with the OW. The police were very good, I was very tearful after more than a year of psychological, financial and emotional abuse, there is a long history of complaints by him, all of which I have been exonerated of, but this one, I have to go in and have been asked if I want a duty solicitor. My main concern is that I will be asked to accept a caution if they feel I have maliciously communicated. I can't. It will affect my chosen career and retraining prospects and he knows this. It's been done for that purpose and to ruin my life further. I would be so grateful for any advice...the interview is on Monday afternoon. Thank you in advance.

FeckTheMagicDragon Thu 11-Dec-14 00:40:44

I would call woman's aid, and take advantage of the offer of duty solicited. Sounds to me as if he's trying to use the legal system to continue his abuse, but I'm no expert. Don't accept the caution if it's going to affect your job.

Darkesteyes Thu 11-Dec-14 00:50:15

Im not an expert either but i agree with Feck He is using the legal system to continue the control and abuse.

Bumpedbonce Thu 11-Dec-14 00:51:29

Ask for a duty solicitor when you get to the station, if it was as part of a series of communication take it with you to show what the context was

sugarcoatedthorns Fri 12-Dec-14 09:56:53

I am saddened to hear your situation, but I am glad to hear that you know exactly whats going on, and now its about getting the right support.

Please please call Rights of Women also; calls are taken by female solicitors/barristers specifically for this purpose. they are only open certain hours and are extremely busy, as you can imagine, but they are fantastic and will give you best advise.

Ask to speak to DV specialist urgently, from the police, what hes doing is illegal. If there is a long history of complaints by him that the police are already aware of and that you have been exonerated of, why are the police even taking this seriously? Its very obviously part of a pattern of abuse, maybe that needs pointing out to them.. again even?

yes, definitely it needs the context to show that, but obviously take legal advice before handing anything over.

Women's Aid should also be able to recommend a specialist solicitor locally.

Please keep posting and let us know how you get on and take all the moral boosting support you can! Keep pushing on, and I would also be looking to take protective steps against him abusing you further so that he has some kind of prohibitive order against him.

sugarcoatedthorns Fri 12-Dec-14 10:18:43


AskBasil4StuffingRecipe Fri 12-Dec-14 10:27:15

Can you ask the police about at what stage his behaviour becomes harassment?

temporarynamechangeforthis Sat 13-Dec-14 10:32:53

Hi all, thank you so much for advice and kind words. Sugarcoated, thanks so much, all of this is now in hand, I so appreciate it. AskBasil, indeed, I will be asking that question. I am very nervous as I feel like I am being set up. I do not believe that this is down to a few succinct profanities and find the whole thing very odd. I have a solicitor and hopefully will be able to post an update on Monday evening. I am away for a few days, ironically, at my amazing and supportive parents-in-law, without whom I would have struggled to cope with the whole thing. I will update a.s.a.p. Thank you all!

sugarcoatedthorns Sat 13-Dec-14 11:41:51

hope you have a lovely break with lotsof support, thanks for the update and keep strong. Just remember that you have done nothing wrong and just keep being honest.

temporarynamechangeforthis Sun 14-Dec-14 20:55:26

Hello again, thank you sugar, I had a lovely time, I am so lucky to have them. OK, so something has happened. With permission from Police, I wrote to my husband to explain that contact with DS would now have to change due to allegations made. I am self repping so have no solicitor to do this through. He received letter Saturday lunchtime. I went away on Saturday morning and have just got back. To my horror, I have three e-mails registering me to porn site, a BDSM site and an "outsize" dating site, which would be fine if I was actually outsize, but anyway. Should I report this to the police? I can have a damn good guess who it was..:-(

ConfusedNC Sun 14-Dec-14 21:05:45

Sounds like harassment. You could make counter complaint? Get legal advice. flowers

sugarcoatedthorns Mon 15-Dec-14 15:02:11

yes, absolutely report it to the police and forwardthe emails to them.

please try calling Rights of Women.

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