A little background, XP and I separated in March. We have a 2yr old DD. At the time, we lived in a rented house, and I moved to another rented house. He left me with a lot of debt that I had no idea about (£2.5k council tax arrears, £4k rent arrears, £2k credit card debt) and kept both of our cars. At the time I was too mentally exhausted to fight any of this and couldn't risk losing my job over the debt (credit checked role) so took out a loan to cover the debt and bought a new car for myself.
Fast forward to a month ago he has been a lot more reasonable and agreed a sum that he would pay me to cover the amount he failed to pay in child maintenance until CSA were involved; the amount of his debt I repaid and the value I was due from the cars he kept. In total it amounted to £15k and has allowed me to proceed with buying a house.
I am now at the stage where my mortgage is all arranged, I am due to complete on a house at the start of December and all my finances are in order. I have a letter from him stating the money is a 'gift with no expectation to repay'.
But today he has changed his mind when I made it clear that he would never be living in the house (to be fair, I thought I had made this explicitly clear from the outset). He has kicked off, is threatening to take me to court to get the money back, make up lies to have me done for mortgage fraud (and lose my job) and is generally just being vile.
Amongst his messages are things like "You are a crap shag. The only reason I tolerated you before DD is because you were fit. That's changed and noone will want you now you're fat, broke and bankrupt".
I'm in tears at work here because I just don't know what to do. The money is rightfully mine but I've even offered to repay it and pull out of the house - he doesn't want to know, he has messaged me saying "see you in court" and turned his phone off.
Where do I stand with any of this? Do I need to pull out of the house? If it helps, he took out a loan to give me the money and lied about his reasons for obtaining the money. (told them it was debt consolidation).
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XP wants to 'destroy me'
67 replies
isles7 · 20/11/2014 15:40
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