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What steps should/can I take

(5 Posts)
Peppaismyhomegirl Tue 18-Nov-14 17:26:18

I have a 2.5yr old child. Birth father no contact (his choice) from pregnancy. Had no contact, doesn't want contact but pays maint.
New partner of 1 year is child's "father" in the future of course he will know how he came into the world and if he wants to meet birth father I have no issue with it.
I was hoping that I could out something into place tho so birth father just can't walk in in However many years and mess up dc. Some sort of protection order that gives us rights that if and when the situation arises it's done sensitively. A residency order? Could anyone give me any idea if and what I should be doing?

lostdad Tue 18-Nov-14 17:33:56

In a word, no.

If your child's father is on the birth certificate he has PR (Parental Responsibility) and that remains unless you convince a court to remove it - which in my experience is unlikely. Furthermore a residence order, etc. won't change that (and note that there is no such thing any more it's a Child Arrangements Order)

If at any point he contacts you to arrange contact and you refuse he will be obliged to try mediation before taking the matter to court. The longer he leaves it, the weaker his case for any contact will be but it is unlikely that no contact will be order whatsoever until your child is old enough to make his/her own mind up.

Peppaismyhomegirl Tue 18-Nov-14 17:38:25

Thank you. I'm prepared for contact, it's not my right it's my child's to know. I'm just concerned that the happy, stable life we have created for him could be burst before he is of an age where he can understand it all or we can tell him and prepare him. I have no experience of this, I guess I'm just over thinking it. But my fear is a have to give my terrified 6yr old 50/50 access in the future. I'm over reacting arnt I?

lostdad Tue 18-Nov-14 17:52:34

It is unlikely that a court would make an order that your child's time is divided 50/50 even should he be fully involved. And the change of that lessens as time goes by.

Should your ex appear in a say, 3 years, and say he wants contact he would be obliged to offer mediation before it went to court. If it did go that far the most likely outcome would be a slow introduction to see how things go. The court is highly unlikely to order a small child spend long periods with someone he/she hasn't met at all or for a long time.

For your part all you can do for your child is to `keep the door open' while acting in his best interests. If your ex contacts you negotiate, take it slow and consider your son's best interests first and foremost.

In other words wink

Peppaismyhomegirl Tue 18-Nov-14 18:00:49

Thank you. Really appreciate your advice

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