XH has refused to meet with me to talk about school choice for our DS1. He's reception age and is currently home educated.
XH agreed to trial homeschooling (in writing, by email) and has had zero input into it so far. For background, he was EA, FA and SA during our marriage. No police reports but plenty of notes documenting this from DV agency and GP post split.
XH was seeing the boys e.o.w but has recently stopped as his new DW is about to (or indeed, may already have had) a baby. He's only ever had them for a full week twice in the 2.5 years since we split. No residency or contact orders in place. I'm not actually sure how contact will progress once it resumes. He is suggesting it will be e.o.w but my gut feeling is that it will drop off.
In brief, I want to decide where to send DS to school next year without getting his permission first.
The reasons for not sending DS1 to a regular reception class this sept were that a) he was too young (summer born) b) he thrives in Home Ed environments and c) GP advised waiting as he suffers from anxiety and he felt that he was not ready for school. I have this recorded in a letter from the GP for the local school where we live now, where his place has been deferred.
I am now moving house about 10mins away to a better part of the city, and slightly closer to DS's dad (but still a 45min drive). So I'm looking ahead to next year and want to apply for a place at school just in case DS1 is ready to go - applications are being made now.
The state primary in the new area has a waiting list of 18kids for his year group, and don't think he'll make the roll. So I want to apply to the Steiner Academy (which is infinitely better in my opinion, for DS and his needs anyway).
So here's the problem: XH has said in the past that he won't support sending the kids to Steiner, but won't give a reason. He does support HE and as I've mentioned, takes no role in this, nor does he ask what I do with DS1. As far as I can tell he wants me to either continue HE full time or send him to a local primary. These are polar opposite approaches and I feel Steiner is a good middle ground, I would be willing to review and look at state primary again when he's about 7 (3 years from now) so I'm not seeing this as a permanent decision, more about meeting his needs right now.
Sorry this is so long... I want to know how a court would approach it if I get a place at Steiner, send my DS, support my decision with evidence from our GP and the lack of a place at our local primary anyway... but XH tries to stop me. Can he stop me? Would he have to actually tell me why/talk to me? I have no idea what his objections are. I have asked. He's won't speak to me on the phone or in person or attend mediation.
Thanks for advice, I really just want to get on with parenting our children now and make plans for their future. We also have a younger DS2 this all impacts on. The fact that his dad refuses to engage with me at all makes it impossible to act as coparents, but I am afraid I'll look like an obstructive/vindictive ex if he takes me to court :( am I just being paranoid?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.
Legal matters
advice on school choice (divorced parents)
6 replies
chocoraisin · 11/11/2014 19:57
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.