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Arguments for and against exactly 50/50 Shared Care.

(2 Posts)
NearlyChristmasWhoop Tue 04-Nov-14 11:39:10

Has anyone had to argue for or against exactly 50/50 Shared Care at Court?

My ex currently has our child alternate weekends (3 nights) and one day midweek overnight. So he has 5 nights every two weeks, so just short of 50/50. It used to be 50/50 (full alternate weeks) but changed a while back and now he has applied to Court to have it changed back to exactly 50/50.

A Court hearing has been set for early next year, by which time our child will have been following the above pattern (5 nights in 14 with dad) for around 9 months - which I hope will go in my favour.

His solicitor has used the argument that our child needs to feel both parents are equally important, surely this can be achieved without an exact divide of time? He knows that 50/50 means he doesn't pay maintenance and I know and he knows this is his motivation for 50/50. This would be fine, but from experience he also refuses to buy things for our child, meaning I have no choice to pay for pretty much everything (clothes, uniforms, shoes, school trips etc) but with no financial help from him or see her go without.

I have lots of reasons why I feel the current arrangement is better, but I simply cannot put them into adequate arguments that I can use at Court. It's so hard to convey the little (seemingly minor) things that make day to day life so hard when it's 50/50. It's just been so much easier for our child the last few months, practically and emotionally. What I want to say is he is irresponsible and won't take responsibility for the "boring" bits such homework, after school activities etc. He is also very unorganised and forgetful which makes things difficult for her, forgotten PE kit, forgot to do to swimming club etc.

It's so much easier for her knowing that I am currently responsible for all these things, but when it was full alternate weeks he insisted on me not doing these things on "his" weeks and then let her down. If that makes sense. She actually enjoys her time with him more now as it's all relaxed and easy and no pressure to remember things or do homework.

Can anyone help me put this into words that can be used in my statement for Court...

Lonecatwithkitten Tue 04-Nov-14 13:42:22

Have school noticed a difference in homework? If they would be prepared to state this it could help.
What you are saying is that during the school week you offer consistency which your child is benefiting from.
Would you be flexible about more time in the holidays?
My DD was 50/50 with Ex and myself and there were similar problems. We arrived at our situation by a different route, but it is EOW during term time and then half the school holidays.

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