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(10 Posts)
michelleb330 Thu 30-Oct-14 16:40:47

Hi i need some advice about my ex. we have two children together, have been separated for 5 years, we split because he was violent. he has shown very little interest in the children over the past 5 years, he has seen them on and off, he smokes weed around them when they are there and does nothing with them. This has made my son want nothing to do with him, he is only 7 but decided a long time ago that he wants nothing to do with him, this is his decision not mine! my daughter who is now 11 continues to give him a chance. He pays £10 every 2 weeks through the csa as he is unemployed. His partner has got in touch recently about seeing them, i finally put my foot down and said when i see some money and some consistency then you can see her. He said he will not have any money for 2 weeks but he wants them both this weekend, i said no now he says he will see me in court.
I wanted some advice please about what might happen if it does go to court.
Michelle x

Youarejustwordsonascreenpeople Fri 31-Oct-14 06:34:07


You may find that you get more response in Lone Parents click here

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scarevola Fri 31-Oct-14 07:02:17

If it goes to court, he'll win.

Maintenance and contact are separate issues. Him not paying on time is not a reason to withhold contact.

If you think your DC are not safe when with him (eg drug use), then collect evidence and take it to court yourself.

michelleb330 Fri 31-Oct-14 11:56:14

thank you, i have posted it on Lone parents. Scarevola, he doesn't pay anything not just not paying on time, will the courts make my son go? as he really doesn't want to. thanks for your help x

DeckTheHallswithAliceMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 31-Oct-14 15:48:42

We'll be moving this thread to our Legal Matters topic as we feel the OP will get a better response there.

prh47bridge Fri 31-Oct-14 16:11:24

will the courts make my son go

As he is only 7 his views will be taken into account but are unlikely to carry much weight. So there is a good chance your ex will get contact with your son.

Greengrow Sat 01-Nov-14 15:53:20

He probably will not go through with it so I would just set out on an email and keep a copy that your son does not wish to have contact and explain why - the illegal drug taking whilst with the children etc.

babybarrister Sun 02-Nov-14 13:05:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OldLadyKnowsBeelzebub Sun 02-Nov-14 18:47:55

How is he going to go to court if he has no money? I don't think Legal Aid is available for this any more, but perhaps someone knows better?

lostdad Mon 03-Nov-14 12:54:07

If he decides to take the matter to court he will obliged to attempt mediation first.

There is no link in law between contact and finance and if the court hearings you are doing so it will show you in a bad light. Either contact is in the best interests of a child or it isn't and this should be your sole basis on any decision you make.

Furthermore, unless you have genuine concerns for your DS'r safety you have no legal basis for preventing contact. If you do have genuine concerns you should contact Social Services, the police, etc.

As your DS is 7 his point of view would be taken into account but would not be determinative. You say `he is only 7 but decided a long time ago that he wants nothing to do with him, this is his decision not mine'. It is worth remembering that you have a legal obligation to promote contact - this could be seen as simply refusing to undertake this obligation.

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